10 Signs Your Captain is More Than Just Attracted
by MissCar
Summary: to Your Boyfriend. Because Jim Kirk is Jim Kirk, it's hard to tell when he is more than just attracted to someone. Lt. Uhura has come up with 10 signs to look for to see if your captain may just be in love with your boyfriend. S/K with K&U S&U friendship
1. Sign 1: Arguing is code for flirting

**Title: **10 signs your captain is more than just attracted to your boyfriend

**Summary:** Because Jim Kirk is Jim Kirk, it's hard to tell when he is more than just attracted to someone. From personal experience, Lt. Uhura has come up with 10 signs to look for to see if your captain may just be in love with your boyfriend.

**Pairing:** Disintegrating S/U with developing S/K but nothing overt

**Special notes:** This story is the companion piece to "10 Signs Your Boyfriend Is In Love with Your Captain." When writing the second chapter of that story I realized I had to do the signs that Jim was also in love with Spock simultaneously. These stories are going to be so related that it would be best to read both at some point.

This is my second Star Trek story that I am writing simultaneously with my first Star Trek story. In other words, I am probably going to need some help.

**Disclaimer:** This story is based on characters created by Gene Roddenberry and reinterpreted by J.J. Abrams.

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Sign One: He Enjoys the Arguing too Much.

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Jim Kirk—Captain Jim Kirk finds everyone aesthetically pleasing. Let's be honest he is a slut or at least she perceives him that way. The man would hit on your grandmother if you introduced her to him. Actually he would probably hit on your grandfather too because he doesn't feel like limiting himself to only half of any species (including half Vulcans).

The first time she met him he made a pass at her. (This became a normal behavior pattern until he found a new target unfortunately.) There was also the fact that three years later he slept with her roommate just so he could win an unwinnable test. Last week he secured mining rights from a particular planet by spending 30 minutes alone with a certain ambassador doing who knows what.

Therefore it does not surprise her that she catches her captain checking out her boyfriend's ass on the bridge. She's not even surprise when it starts becoming a regular occurrence. (She does find this highly frustrating, but at least he's no longer looking at her ass.) She is also not surprised that her captain becomes a master of double entendres around her boyfriend that he supposedly doesn't understand.

What surprises her is that her captain is attracted to her boyfriend even though they appear to hate each other. They are always fighting when they are not doing something work related. Actually they are always fighting even if they are doing something work related. It doesn't matter because they still work well together regardless.

Eventually she realizes that they are not actually fighting with each other. This is just how they communicate. They are really not fighting just merely talking with passion. For some unknown reason her boyfriend and her captain are able to communicate with each other on a level that is completely unique to the two of them. Even though she is a communications expert she still doesn't understand what's going on completely.

The fact that her captain can make her boyfriend feel anything passionately is an entirely different issue. (See sign one of her other rant regarding her boyfriend and her captain. Yes her boyfriend and her captain are driving her so crazy that she must do two separate rants or risk strangling the two in a non- sexual way.)

What truly lets her know that something is different this time is that her captain enjoys arguing with her boyfriend too much. (No, she is not referring to the rumors about her captain having a choking fetish or a half Vulcan choking fetish. She refuses to talk about how this rumor started after surveillance footage of a certain bridge incident started floating around the ship.)

No she is talking about the fact that when they get into an "argument" her captain is usually smiling the entire time unless the situation is truly dire. She realizes quickly that her captain gets a certain amount of "pleasure" from triggering an emotional response in her boyfriend.

At first she mistakes this for his normal smug approach. She knows better now. He is not just "arguing" with Spock purely for pleasure. Actually it is still for pleasure but it's a completely different type of pleasure. (Apparently her captain forgets that her boyfriend is **her boyfriend.)**

This is when she comes to the revelation that her captain is not arguing with her boyfriend. Her captain is flirting with her boyfriend. This isn't his normal flirting. He actually likes her boyfriend as more than just a conquest.

The thing that makes her realize this is that her captain avoids certain subjects in her boyfriend's presentce. He never triggers an argument with mentions of the destruction of Vulcan, the death of her boyfriend's mother, or the "bridge incident." He will not even mentioned the "bridge incident" as a joke. He actually goes out of his way to be sensitive to her boyfriend's emotional needs. (Yes, contrary to popular belief her boyfriend does have emotional needs. Unfortunately only her captain and her are aware of this.) The most notable example is that even though her captain calls everyone by their first name whenever possible he refers to the three women on ship with the first name Amanda by their last name only.

This fact in itself gives her cause to believe that maybe her captain is more than just attracted to her boyfriend in his traditional way. In an effort to preserve her relationship with her boyfriend she decides not to point this fact out to either party. If they can't figure it out on their own, she won't tell her boyfriend or the captain. She will ignore this information unless her captain does something truly idiotic.

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Please let me know what you think.


	2. Sign 2: Paperwork is an excuse

Thank you to everyone who read or reviewed the very first chapter. In addition, thank you to everyone who has added 10 signs the Jim Kirk edition to your story alert or to your favorites. The response has been great.

**Warning:** There is a bit of hard language in this but not enough to raise the rating.

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Sign Number Two: He Uses Paperwork As An Excuse to Spend Time With Your Boyfriend.

Early on, she realizes there were certain things that they did not tell you at the academy. You never learn how to get over the deaths of persons on your team. They never teach you about being thrown into the deep end by your commanding officer. There are no classes at the academy to teach you how to deal with coworkers who only assume you got your commission because you are good at spreading your legs.

One of the more mundane things they forgot to mention was the copious amounts of paperwork involved with being chief communications officer. She was truly starting to hate bureaucracy. She had no idea a chief communications officer would spend 35% of her day reviewing reports from those under her. This was in addition to her bridge responsibilities.

Considering the amount of time she spent on work related activities when she was technically off the clock she should not be surprised her boyfriend would be doing the same. He spent the majority of his time filling out paperwork, managing projects in the lab, or meeting with the captain to discuss normal daily operations. This was in addition to any other research he was working on. Her boyfriend schedule was even worse when the ship is in crisis mode. (It seemed like the enterprise was in crisis mode the majority of the time).

She understood that she and Spock would be spending less time together now. He was the first officer for the federation's flagship and she was chief communications officer and was in charge of the entire communications department.

She understood that just like her, he had many responsibilities that needed to come first. Her boyfriend being the logical individual that he was would not allow there relationship to compromise his ability to perform his duties as assigned.

The problem was a certain captain was assigning certain unnecessary duties to said boyfriend in an effort to spend more time with him. Maybe he just did this to drive her completely crazy. She wasn't sure.

At first, she did not notice it because Kirk was calling her at all hours of the day to work on special projects as well or translate something in an emergency. His behavior did not seem out of the ordinary.

She did not have an inkling that something else was going on until the captain started crashing her lunches with her boyfriend. She did not say anything at first because the two were discussing work related things like when they should have the next emergency drill or who should be on the next away team. (She would also use these opportunities to get her placed on away teams more often. She was not going to let those idiots go down to certain planets with just the universal translator. With their "record of accomplishment", they probably would end up "accidentally" getting married to each other.)

It was also easier for her to keep quiet when she assumed they hated each other. If all they do is argue or make snide remarks at each other, they must hate one another. She conveniently forgot about a boy named Kofi in the first grade who used to pull her braids because he had a crush on her.

It took her several weeks to realize this was what her captain was doing to Spock. Apparently, "emotionless dick" was a term of endearment. It became obvious to her that Kirk was flirting with her boyfriend. If this was the captain's normal flirting, she could let it go. (He hits on her once a day and he is not in love with her.) However, there was this additional level to what was going on. At this point, she already knew Kirk had feelings for her boyfriend.

When she told Spock that the captain was flirting with him, he deliberately misunderstood her. (See sign two of her second rant on her idiotic boyfriend who is in complete denial of his own feelings to the point that he does not acknowledge he has feelings. Contrary to popular belief, her boyfriend does have feelings. Unfortunately, only she and her captain are aware of this. She is the only one who is aware he has feelings for the captain. Stupid boyfriend.)

After a few more days of watching this go on, she decided to confront Kirk herself. When she pointed out his obvious "teenager with a crush" behavior, her captain showed a level of denial that would make her boyfriend proud.

First, he stated that they still hated each other. She wanted to laugh at that but knew it was disrespectful. Instead, she responded with, "If you hate him, why are you spending so much time with us?" He stayed quiet for 15 seconds before denying everything. That was a record for him.

When she directly told him that she did not believe him, he responded with, "If I didn't flirt with your boyfriend from time to time you would send me to sick bay." In a weird way, he was probably right.

She did not have the emotional energy to tell him that he was flirting with Spock in a completely different way or that the flirting he did with Spock was not meaningless. Kirk only gave certain smiles to her boyfriend. He was only happy when Spock was around. The only time she heard genuine laughter from him was when her boyfriend told a joke that only her and Kirk could notice. He always tried harder when Spock was around as if he had something to prove.

She was already aware that Kirk made her boyfriend feel passionately about things. Now she is aware that Spock makes Kirk feel the exact same way. She can see it every time she looks into his eyes. There is a passion burning there that can only be triggered by Spock.

Eventually she gives up on boyfriend lunchtime. She lets it become first officer and captain lunchtime or more accurately Jim and Spock time. She lets them keep up with the delusion that they were still having working lunches. From three tables away she can see Kirk smiling and laughing. No one smiles and laughs when they are doing paperwork or discussing how to notify the parents of the ensign who died in the line of duty yesterday. Everybody could see it as well, because no one else would infringe upon Spock and Kirk's time together. Not even Jim's best friend Dr. McCoy would eat lunch with the pair.

It was when her captain started to infringe on her after work time with her boyfriend that she became furious. As before, she let it go. She originally assumed that there were legitimate reasons why her captain needed to spend evenings with her boyfriend. After overhearing a conversation between two of her subordinates she revised her opinion quickly.

"What is the punishment for shoving a stylus into the brain of your captain?" She overheard Ensign Thompson say to Ensign Rodriguez in anger one evening when the captain was monopolizing her boyfriend.

"It depends on how justifiable it was. What did he do this time?"

"Our fearless leader is sitting on his paperwork again. I needed to transmit it to Starfleet 3 hours ago." She heard Ensign Thompson say with a touch of irritation.

"That's not that big of a thing."

"It is when he's sitting on his paperwork just so he has an excuse to spend his evenings with his very hot First Officer rushing through it."

"What are you talking about Brittany?"

"Come on everybody can see it. Our captain is completely in love with his first officer. He's acting like I did when I purposely flunked Introductory to Klingon just so I could get a certain very hot teaching assistant to give me extra attention after class."

She could not believe she missed it. She used the same technique herself to get Spock's attention when he was just her language instructor. In her case, she asked him to explain certain ancient Vulcan terms to her. She purposely chose words that had no standard equivalent such as t'hy'la. (Ever since she became aware of what was going on between Kirk and Spock that word has been coming back in her mind a lot. She had no idea why.)

She should not be surprise that Kirk was doing the exact same thing. It was obvious to her already that he had feelings for her boyfriend. What did shock her was the way he denied his behavior.

"Spock and I cannot keep arguing all the time. If spending a bit more time doing our jobs causes us to become a better command team, then I will do it. I don't see why you are so upset." She tried hard not to laugh at his response. It wasn't working that well.

"I thought you enjoy the arguing." What she wanted to say was, "I thought you got off on the arguing." She decided discretion was called for at that moment.

"If only it was in the privacy of my quarters." She wasn't quite sure how to take that comment. She decided to ignore it as he continued talking. "Most of the crew are making bets on when Spock is actually going to kill me. It isn't good for a captain to have those under him making bets about his death." She wondered if he knew about the bets people were making on when he and Spock would sleep together.

"So that's the only reason?" She wanted to ask him if his crush on her boyfriend had anything to do with it but she held her tongue.

"I want to be Spock's friend." Again, she had to stifle laughter. After watching him and her boyfriend dance around each other for almost four months, laughter seemed to be the only appropriate response. It was probably disrespectful to laugh hysterically at your captain for his complete denial.

"You don't just want to be Spock's friend." She said this looking at him directly.

"Are you assuming I cannot have a relationship with anybody that doesn't involve sex?" Did he really go there?

"I'm implying that you don't want to have a relationship with Spock without a physical component. It is just who you are. You screwed my roommate just so you could beat that stupid test. I don't exactly have high expectations when it comes to your personal behavior. Besides you spend half the shift looking at my boyfriend's backside." She said that part in a near whisper. His wide eyes tell her that he heard it.

"Contrary to your assumption I haven't slept with one person in the last four months. Stop assuming I am the ship ho, when I'm not. As for looking at your boyfriend, he is hot. I told you it has been four months. I don't know why are so worried, your boyfriend is straight." He said that in a whisper that she wasn't meant to hear.

She decided not to mention that her now boyfriend was dating some guy she can't remember the name of when she "convinced" him to be with her instead. She refused to help her captain get with her boyfriend in any way, shape, or form.

"If you want to be his friend asked him to play chest after hours. If you keep stalling paperwork just to spend time with Spock, Ensign Thompson is going to figure out how to kill you with a stylus. I would hate to have to fill out the paperwork if someone in my department actually succeeds in killing you."

After she tells him this, he just smiles at her as if he is going to ignore everything she just said. However, he does not. Maybe that is another indication that something deeper is going on. After their "discussion", he turns in his paperwork on time.

On those occasions where they really do have to discuss ship related things, she is invited in on the discussions whenever possible. She is happy to be there because she gets to learn more about the daily operations of the ship and other things relate to her department. She is given additional responsibilities that she likes.

What she does not like is watching them interact with each other. Sometimes when they are together, they forget that she is in the room. There is nothing "just friends" about their interaction with each other. It is like they are each other's other half. However, she decides it's in her best interest to let them stay in their delusion.

A/N: As I was working on this chapter, I tried to think of possible positive changes that could be triggered by the events that created the new timeline. The one I am planning to use in this story is both Spock and Kirk are openly bisexual by the time they meet each other in the new timeline. As the story progresses, I will explain in more detail what triggered that change.


	3. Sign 3: The Real James Kirk

Thank you to everyone who has read or reviewed the last chapter. Some of the ideas in this chapter were developed from a conversation I had a couple of months ago with Pink Elegance about how horrible the childhood of the Abrams Universe Jim Kirk must have been for him to be the way he is. This is my own interpretation.

**Warning: Very dark chapter**

**Sign Three: He Lets Him See the Real James Kirk**

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Each person only permits others to see what they want them to see. You are essentially the person people assume you are, not the person you truly are. This is just an unpleasant fact.

Dr. McCoy is perceived as the grumpy doctor who drinks half of flask of whiskey before breakfast. Chekov is supposedly that bazaar Russian kid with the heavy accent that makes half of what he says undecipherable. Sulu is apparently that guy who is into fencing and stares at Chekov just a little too much.

According to those working under her she is an over controlling perfectionist who will force you to go over everything three times just because she could. Theoretically, Spock is the embodiment of Vulcan control never showing any emotions whatsoever. (This hypothesis was proven false after the infamous "bridge incident". Then again eventually most assumptions are proven false. We are all more than what we allow others to see.)

Although she is just starting to learn about the other individuals on the main bridge crew and the doctor she knows that there are more than the stereotypes that people see them as. Dr. McCoy is not just a grumpy Dr. Chekov is not just the Russian kid. Sulu isn't just the fencing guy. Contrary to popular belief she is not a perfectionist she merely doesn't want anybody dead because someone on her team mistranslated the latest intercepted transmission. (She's gone to enough memorial services recently to last a lifetime.)

She knows for a fact that Spock has shown emotions on occasions beyond the "bridge incident". (Although 90% of these incidents have happened in the six months since the battle of Vulcan. More accurately the majority of these instances have occurred since the beginning of his acquaintance with James Tiberius Kirk.)

James Kirk is no exception to this rule. From their first encounter 3 ½ years ago she perceived him as this brash idiot who couldn't go more than 30 seconds without hitting on someone. That opinion didn't change much when she found him underneath the bed of her roommate Gaila (RIP). She thought he was a complete ass ho after the Kobayashi Maru incident. (Even now she can't see him eat anything resembling an apple without the sudden urge to throw something at him. However that may be connected to the fact that he has a crush on her boyfriend.)

After he helped to save earth, he became the brash young hero who would hit on anything in a skirt. (Most people were unaware that the skirt part of that statement is somewhat inaccurate. She's pretty sure it is not a conscious choice on his part. Even in 2258 everyone assumes that all heroes must prescribe to the hyper masculine heterosexual stereotype.)

Even though he is a good captain, he still does things on a daily basis that reinforces everybody's stereotypical perception of him. Often it appears that he goes into a situation without looking or thinking. He acts like he's not smart enough to understand half the words in his briefing material for the next mission. He is perceived to flirt with every woman on the ship. (Only those who can accept it see what's going on between him and Spock.) He also does things on a regular basis that proved his ego is bigger than most planets they visit. Everyone assumes the term humility should never be used in relation to James T. Kirk.

The truth is he's none of these things in all of these things. She knows this is done on purpose. What they all see is a carefully crafted image that is merely an illusion that he lets very few individuals see beyond this façade. (This surprises her because she was under the impression that he didn't care about what anyone thought about him.) One of the few individuals that get to see behind the pretense is Spock.

It began during the "working lunches" where he would share little tidbits about his childhood that he told no one else about except for maybe the doctor. He told stories about being shuffled between aunts and uncles as a toddler when his mom went back into space or playing checkers with his brother before he disappeared. (In her grief, Jim's mom band the game of chess from their house. She would not discover until after she suggested that he play the game with his first officer.)

There were stories about how he hated school because he was "the smart kid". He talked about being bored to death at school. (High IQ plus under stimulation equals very bad things. This probably explains why he became "the only genius level repeat offender in the Midwest".) He talked about how much he hated bringing a smashed Frank to father son activities. He told both of them about how he drove his father's car into a manmade cavern. He also told the two of them about how his mom didn't even bother coming back to earth after that incident or a few months later when his brother left permanently.

At this point, she wondered if she should even be listening. She didn't know if it was appropriate to hear about how during his entire first year at the academy everywhere he went he heard whispers about him being the boy who was born in space after his dad died saving 800 people. She knew right away that these anecdotes were not for her benefit. He was letting Spock see beyond the mask not her. After hearing all these stories it made it harder for her to hate him just because he had a crush on her boyfriend (?).

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The material that Kirk shared started to become more personal when Spock started tutoring Jim in the game of chess.

"Chess was banned in my house because my dad used to play. Personally I'm surprised mom let us have a checkerboard in the house. Not that she was ever there. She couldn't tolerate anything that reminded her of dad. Did you know that she had the color of my eyes changed just so I wouldn't look like him as much? Maybe that's the real reason she was going to let Frank sell dad's car." Kirk said to his first officer in explanation of why he never played the game before.

"A simple "I have never played the game of chess before" would have sufficed." Spock said in his usual tone of voice. His eyes told her that the story made him feel sadness just like her.

"Isn't that my line?" Jim said trying to break the tension. At that Spock raised his right eyebrow 2.1 MM.

"How could any particular phrase be considered a line of a specific individual when there's no script involved in this particular conversation?" She personally had to stifle a giggle at that. Did her boyfriend really think her and Kirk were still falling for his "I don't understand human vernacular" routine.

"Never mind Spock." Jim said with a smile that was only meant for him to see. "I want you to know why. Let's just play." His voice was very quiet as he said this. Those words were the last thing Jim said before being destroyed on the chessboard in less than 2 minutes.

Other than the stories, the fact that Jim was willing to not be good at something in front of a room filled with crew members showed that James Kirk was much more humble than people thought. He was not that upset when Spock kicked his ass two more times that night on the chessboard. (To see exactly how badly these chess games went see other rant about oblivious boyfriends (?) and the captain's they love.)

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When the match moved locations, the conversations got much more intense. He was on the verge of tears a couple of times when he talked about how his mom never made one parents weekend at the academy or how no one from his family bother to show up for his commendation ceremony.

"I at least expected Frank to show up. Although I guess being in rehab again is a good excuse. Sometimes I think he's the only real parent I ever had. Maybe that's why I hated him so much, besides the drinking problem. He was an ass when he was drunk." Jim said as he made his move.

"Trust me I get it. I hated my stepmom because she wasn't my real mom. My real mom wasn't my real mom either. In my family she was the one who enjoyed the hard lemonade." She said in a whisper without even looking up from her PADD. She didn't like talking about her family. Normally she made up some happy story but not tonight.

"I was unaware you had a stepmom. On the occasions I met your mother and father they gave no indication that they were divorced." Of course he didn't know. She'd never told him about her mom. What does it say about her when she doesn't let Spock see the real her when Kirk does?

"The woman you met is my stepmom. My biological mom never came to visit. I'm not sure if she even acknowledges I exist anymore. She wasn't very happy when I decided to join Starfleet. My stepmom was the one who defended my decision to the entire family. She was the one who supported me. That's why I call her my mom now."

"It was the same with Frank before he went into rehab for the first time. Frank was a mean alcoholic. Eventually it got better after we stopped hating each other automatically and he stopped living in the bottle." He said this only looking at Spock.

"A couple of years ago on one of those rare occasions that my mom was actually planet side during December I decided to bring my current boyfriend home." Although she was aware that Kirk was bisexual apparently Spock was not. He actually dropped the chess piece that he was holding. That was the Vulcan equivalent of passing out in shock.

"Mom was furious. She kept talking about how upset dad would be to discover his youngest son was a… I refuse to repeat the word that she said. What she said pissed off Frank and he started yelling at her. Frank knew about it since I was 16 and I just assumed that he told her. However he never did because he knew she would react like that. I actually overheard him say that he loved me regardless of who I was with unlike his dead brother who was a closet homopho. That was the first I heard Frank say that he loved me since he stopped being my uncle and became my stepdad. It took 23 years, but we finally came to an understanding."

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After what she is referring to as the "breakfast incident" a few days later she stopped coming to the chess matches. She just couldn't deal with it anymore. She rather lock herself in her room then keep watching. At least that was the plan until a certain captain requested that she come back.

He essentially wanted her to become their chaperone. He argued that as long as she was there they wouldn't do something stupid like tried to kill each other. She personally thought it was so they would not jump each other. When she tells him this he laughs and says, "This wouldn't be a problem if you just agreed to a threesome."

Fortunately for him, he ran away before she could do something that would get her court-martialed. Yet she still decided to go back. She blames the smile.

Some may wonder why she continued sitting there on Spock's bed drinking a glass of wine as she watched Jim and Spock be Jim and Spock. The answer is complicated.

Part of it has to do with the fact that as long as she is there she knows that things are not going to escalate beyond deep conversations and penetrating glances. If she's not there her mind can come up with a million worse things that could be happening.

The second reason is she really doesn't have a lot of other real friends anymore. At least not the type she can drink a glass of wine with and scream about her idiotic boyfriend (?) or her captain. Most of her real friends are dead. They all died the day Vulcan did.

At the academy, she had three good friends beside Spock. All three were stationed on the ship she was supposed to be on. Not one survived the battle. She did not tell anybody about the pain or survivor's guilt she was feeling.

She needed to be the strong one. Her boyfriend lost his mom and his entire planet. She didn't have time to mourn her three best friends. Therefore she locked the pain inside of her and focused on being the best chief communications officer ever.

She didn't try to make more friends because she didn't think she could take another Starfleet memorial service if they were taken away from her. She was nice to everyone when possible but she kept everyone at arm's length. No one really saw the real her any more, not even Spock. The only time she ever really talked about anything was when her rival (?) would engage her in conversation.

As much as she tried to hate Jim, the more she saw the real James Kirk she almost considered him a friend. At the very least she didn't hate him. It was almost as if she felt he deserved to be happy after everything that happened. She just didn't want that happiness to come at the expense of her own happiness.


	4. Sign 4:The Back Rub Incident

Thank you to everyone who read or reviewed the last chapter. I have a feeling that I'm going to have to raise this story to M eventually.

In this chapter, there is a reinterpretation of probably the most infamous scene from the original series. I was originally going to write it differently until watching the episode of _The Ships Closet_ on YouTube that dealt with that scene.

Keep in mind this is an adaptation not a reenactment. Also remember that in this story Jim and Spock are not in the closet.

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**Sign Number Four:He Enjoys Eliciting Public Displays of Affection (PDAs) and Public Displays of Emotion (PDEs) from Spock. (The Back Rub Incident)**

Most people are content with getting the object of their affection to show some outward appearance. A brush of the fingers, a kiss on the cheek, or even a gentle squeezing of their hands could signal affection. (Although in Vulcan culture, two of those are considered obscene gestures. Fortunately or unfortunately, Spock has adopted more human views on sexuality.)

Of course, Jim Kirk is not most people. He prefers emotions to outward signs of affection. The longer she knows him the more she realizes that he sees physical manifestations of affection as meaningless from most people. She has a feeling this is connected to him being "raised" by a woman who was around just long enough to hug and kiss him during shore leave but was emotionally closed off at all other times. Maybe she was lucky that even though she had a screwed up biological mom, she had a stepmom who loved her unconditionally even when she was being a brat.

She could come up with a list of 20 individuals on this ship alone who wanted to sleep with their captain and he would ignore all of them. (This does not include a certain almost ex boyfriend). Because she no longer sees Jim Kirk as the playboy she knows he's well aware that there's a difference between love and sex. She knows he's looking for more than just sexual gratification. Just because someone makes you scream their name in ecstasy at that certain moment, doesn't mean they actually care about you. She knows he craves real love just as much as anyone else even if he tries to hide it.

When she accepted that Kirk wasn't just trying to sleep with Spock but actually cultivate a real relationship she started to see some of the crazy things he did in a new light. The arguments on the bridge, the long conversations over paperwork, and the thinly veiled double entendres at any given time were purposely designed to get some sort of reaction out of a certain Vulcan first officer.

She knew that Kirk desired public displays of emotion (PDE) from Spock. She desired that too, but it seems that Kirk is much better at eliciting this than she ever was. From the beginning of their acquaintance, Kirk could elicit an emotional response from Spock. (She was the one who had to listen to the Vulcan equivalent of an angry rant when Kirk cheated on Spock's precious test. That was the first time in their entire relationship she actually saw him visibly angry. Every time he said "cadet Kirk" his left eyebrow twitched a little and his voice went up slightly.)

In the beginning Jim tried to elicit anger now he was going for sympathy with stories about a childhood so screwed up that she feels sorry for him. (See sign three of this reflection.) She's absolute positive he was most interested in eliciting the emotion of lust (love?). However, that will be discussed later on.

For example when he was trying to elicit anger, a few choice words regarding Spock's inability to show emotion regarding his mother had Spock bending Jim over the consul with his hands wrapped around his neck. The only person who could break Spock out of his trance was his father. (Although she tells herself that she does not agree with Ensign Thompson's interpretation of the "bridge incident", she is now willing to admit that after he stopped choking there now captain he behaved in the same way he did after "physical release".)

She is well aware that she cannot make Spock respond like that. Not that she wants to become a victim of domestic violence, but something more than complete indifference would be nice. At this point, she would appreciate a good eyebrow twitch or maybe a slight change in the tone of his voice. Anything to actually show he felt something for her.

Last week she discovered that her "boyfriend" kept many things from her such as a biological need to have sex or die, a former fiancé, and the existence of an alternate self from an alternate universe that she was led to believe was his grandfather. (The last thing she could forgive him four because technically it was classified information that she has only had the clearance to hear for about two months. However, she wasn't planning on telling him that anytime soon.)

When she confronted Spock about it, he stood there calmly explaining everything he neglected to mention during the course of their relationship. His voice stayed calm and even the entire time as the words flowed from his mouth. There was no hint of anger or irritation in his tone. His facial expressions stay cold and stoic. (For details on why she's now convinced that Vulcans are the best liars in the galaxy see part four of her reflection on a guy who is her friends sometimes who she used to sleep with.)

When Kirk yelled at him for not telling her about the true identity of "Grandfather Spock" that passion came out. The tone of his voice changed. His eyebrows were raised as far as possible as his breathing pattern changed slightly. Where she failed, Jim succeeded. This is another sign of the inevitable.

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She's not delusional enough to believe her captain does not crave physical attention from the object of his affection and her current annoyance. He just happens to crave both and only from him. She stopped counting how many times Jim initiated "accidental" direct hand-to-hand contact on the bridge with Spock. During the last chess game that she attended before the "Grandfather Spock incident" Kirk brush fingers with Spock 16 times. (Yes, she actually counted.)

Another common feature of these chess matches was a certain captain complaining of "severe back pain" in an attempt to get a massage. No one would think that a guy as comfortable with himself as James Kirk would have to come up with flimsy pretenses to get a certain object of his desire to touch him. One would think someone as smart as James Kirk could come up with something less obvious. Even a toddler could see through this.

She severely doubted that his "old bar room brawl injuries" always acted up when they were playing chess or when the three of them were planning for the next mission. She was not that stupid. Thankfully neither is his first officer. Every time he pulled that stunt he would suggest that he goes see Dr. McCoy. She would usually just throw a pillow at him under the pretense it would make him more comfortable.

Honestly, she shouldn't be that surprise that he tried to pull off this stunt on the bridge today on the first day in a week that she's had the same shift with the two of them. In less than 24 hours they would be going on there first shore leave since beginning this mission. If anybody needed shore leave, it was her. Maybe spending four days away from those two will give her time to figure out how to break up with somebody that you have to live with for the next 4 ½ years and still be able to recultivate the friendship they use to have. (She is starting to understand why relationships on board ships between people who have close working relationship are frowned upon if not prohibited.)

It all began innocently enough with Ensign Thompson forcing the captain to sign off on any last minute decisions that needed to be made before they made it to their shore leave destination. Brittany was the poor soul who ended up on "captain paperwork enforcement duty".

They didn't trust their captain's assistant or even Spock to actually get him to do all necessary paperwork in time to actually transmit it to Starfleet when needed. Therefore every week she assigned one person from her team to "gently" remind their captain to process all necessary paperwork in a timely way. (As she discovered earlier, getting to do a rushed paper work session with Spock is motivation enough to get Kirk to not do his paperwork.)

Ensign Thompson's efforts to have the captain approved the necessary modifications to the ship that would occur during shore leave was disrupted by a certain first officer. As soon as he and Spock started talking to each other about why things fell apart on the last mission he forgot all about Brittany's existence. (Her personal opinion was the last mission went wrong because they chose the one person on her team that cannot decipher between the two dialects of the native language spoken on the planet and thus relied too heavily on the universal translator. This is all the captain's fault for making her work gamma shift for the last week.)

The moment Spock stepped behind him he decided to put the ever so innocent "please help me because my back hurts" routine into motion. She couldn't believe he actually tried this on a bridge filled with people who were already taking bets on when the two would actually sleep together. Oh wait, this is Jim Kirk she is talking about. Of course, he would do something this stupid on the bridge. He purposely made eye contact with her before beginning his latest blatant attempt to flirt with Spock or rather get Spock to touch him.

She was personally waiting for Spock to suggest he goes see Dr. McCoy or have a nice warm shower with real water. She was not expecting Ensign Thompson to start massaging his back. She was pretty sure she saw Brittany mouth the words, "Would you please stop hitting on your Vulcan and signed the damn paperwork," before she began. Brittany was pretty much willing to do anything if it meant she could get back to her real job and stop babysitting the paperwork (captain).

The captain's response to her actions was, "that's it, a little bit harder". That was followed by a moan of pleasure that anybody could pick up on and that special look in his eyes that is only reserved for Spock.

She knows that he think Spock is the one touching him. How stupid can he be? If this stunt does not work in the privacy of one of their quarters why would it work on the bridge? He really is an idiot. Her suspicions are confirmed when he says Spock's name preceded by the word harder. Two of the other members of the "we know they belong together society" started to desperately stifle laughter. Laughing at your superior officer getting shot down by his Vulcan crush is just not professional. However, it was very entertaining. It probably didn't help that a certain almost ex boyfriend of hers rolled his eyes in an ever so Vulcan way right when Jim said his name in a very bedroom voice. Even if he wasn't trying for a PAE he still managed to get one. Although she is sure annoyance wasn't the emotional response he was looking for. If he ever got Spock to show lust on the bridge she will personally given to Jim's threesome suggestion.

Even she couldn't stifle laughter anymore when moments later when Spock stepped forward just as Kirk said, "you're really good at this." It probably didn't help the situation that their brilliant captain told Brittany to stop touching him as soon as he figured out it was her. Brittany's next words didn't help much either.

"Sir, can you please sign the action memo so I can transmit it. Therefore I can leave you and your first officer to do whatever it is you two do. Captain, if you're really in that much pain I can suggest a really good "vibrating massager". It is not as good as what you really want but I'm sure it can help alleviate some of that "tension" you have been suffering lately." Even though she was a constant professional, she could not stop herself from laughing when Brittany said the word tension.

Everybody in that room who was willing to accept it knew exactly what Brittany was implying. Of course she is sure Spock is among those who didn't get it, because he carried on the conversation ones Brittany left as if nothing happened.

It will be hours later before she would question why her response was laughter and not the urge to punch out her captain. She didn't have time to meditate on that because she accidentally overheard a very interesting conversation between her captain and his first officer.

"I told you it would work. Although I think, it would have worked better if you actually touched me. I thought you agree to go along with my plan?" She heard Kirk say to Spock as they were in the hallway.

"Your goal was to elicit an emotional response from Nyota. Even without me participating in the manner you preferred you were still successful." Okay now she is really confused. Why was Jim trying to elicit an emotional response from her when Spock is his normal target?

"Yes, but I wasn't expecting laughter. Most people respond with anger or throw things when someone is trying to hit on their boyfriend."

That's when she realizes she didn't see Spock as her boyfriend anymore. She may still see as a boy who's a friend or even a future ex boyfriend but he's not her boyfriend. He was never really hers as a lover and surprisingly enough that doesn't bother her that much. She was more interested in the fact that Kirk confessed that he consciously made a pass at him.

"Is that what you were trying to do, sir?" At that moment the captain's dear in headlights expression returned from this afternoon when he realized Brittany was the one giving him the massage.

"You know what I have to go. I think Brittany has some more memos that I need to approve." She was shocked that a guy who is not afraid of any enemy, run away instead of discussing the fact that he made a pass at his first officer. Maybe what was more surprising was the fact that Spock let him go. It seems like she's the only one that was not in denial anymore. Oh well, it was another thing for her to meditate about on shore leave.


	5. Sign 5:The Truth Tea Incident

Thank you to everyone who read or reviewed this story. This is not a solicitation for reviews but reviews help me know what is working and what's not. I do listen to the advice of others.

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Sign Number Five: All The Little Things He Does to Show He Cares. (The Truth Tea Incident)

After six months of dealing with clueless boyfriends and the captains that love said boyfriend but will not admit it if under threat of bloodthirsty enemies, she needed a break. Breaking into laughter when your captain makes a pass at that guy everybody assumes you're dating is a sign that maybe you are just under a bit too much stress.

The fact that she does not confront Jim or Spock when she discovers it really was a setup, just proves she needs to take a step back from the situation. Her epiphany that she no longer considers Spock to be her boyfriend made her realize she needs to figure out how to deal with the Jim and Spock situation. Ignoring it and hoping it will go away isn't working.

Her goals for shore leave include avoiding the two most oblivious men on any planet or starship as she takes a good hard look at the last six months. After 3 hours at the spa and 2 cups of really good tea, she came to the conclusion that her and Spock need to break up for several non Jim Kirk related reasons. This included the fact that her and Spock are just not that compatible with each other and have different goals for their future. (The fact that almost every single reason why she needs to terminate her relationship with Spock has a Jim Kirk component is completely irrelevant, as well as, irritating. (For all five reasons why she needs to terminate her relationship with Spock please see her logical discussion on compatibility issues in her other rant about that guy she thought she loved but didn't.)

After realizing that she and Spock should break up she should have gone back to the ship and get it over with. (Even Jim could not convince him to spend the first day of shore leave actually on shore leave. He did manage to talk Spock into partaking in a simulated war game known as paintball tomorrow.)

She is not afraid of deciphering an encrypted message in a language she just learned last week during the middle of a hostile battle situation. However, she's absolutely terrified to go up to her boyfriend and talk about her feelings. Maybe that's the real reason why she dated a Vulcan. The species was not exactly known for having heart to hearts.

Instead, she asks the individual with long orange hair for another cup of the true relaxing tea. The massage therapist recommended it to her when she felt all the tension in her back. It was working quite well.

Honestly, she was afraid to actually talk about what was going on. Accusing Spock or Jim of having feelings for each other that they are just not ready to admit to is one thing. Finally acknowledging that she's not in love with him anymore is another thing entirely. She's terrified of the fallout.

She's afraid she's going to lose the only two friends she has at the moment. She is too used to things as they are now. She also didn't want to see Jim and Spock making out on every surface on the ship. (She knows that this is a possibility because logic seems to go out the window whenever those two are in the same room.)

If she is honest with herself the real reason why she didn't want to break up with Spock is because Jim will finally take her place officially. She didn't trust Jim with Spock's heart. Obviously, he was going to break Spock's heart because Jim Kirk did not do relationships.

His reputation preceded him. She saw firsthand how he breaks hearts. She was the one who stayed up with a crying Gaila the night before the Kobayashi Maru hearing. Gaila died thinking that he only slept with her so she could beat Spock's test. Her friend died thinking she was nothing more than a cheap fuck because of him. That was something she couldn't forgive him for even though she now considered him a friend.

During this part of her mental reflections, she tried to ignore all the other signs that Kirk did not just want to sleep with Spock but genuinely cared about him. She tried to convince herself that because at least once a day Kirk would make some comment about wanting to have a threesome with her and his first officer that he's only interested in sex. (Of course, she knows it's just a joke because otherwise she would force him to take the mandatory sexual harassment seminar a dozen times by now.)

She is convinced he will find a way to hurt Spock deeper than anything he ever did to Gaila or the other nameless men and women he screwed and never called again. She is well aware Jim is the only one who can get a real emotional response from Spock. That being said he's probably the only one who can truly hurt Spock. It's hard to accept that, because when she gets the courage to break up with Spock it probably won't hurt him at all. As long as they stayed together, Jim will not have the opportunity to hurt him.

As she took another sip of her tea, she realized she was lying to herself again. She was justifying her own cowardly behavior. Jim cared about Spock. He showed it in all sorts of ways besides those she has already disgust in these reflections.

For example, whenever they meet in Jim's quarters for work or recreational purposes he always raises the temperature at least 5°to accommodate his first officer's biological needs. Even If this means everybody else in the room was seriously wishing Starfleet made sleeveless uniforms.

After an incident where Spock is essentially molested by an ensign who didn't know the true nature of Vulcan hand contact, he sent out a memo about respecting the personal culture of others. (After reading this memo, she was absolutely positive Jim knew exactly what he was doing when he ran a finger over Spock's hand every time Spock handed him a PADD.)

Jim added many traditional Vulcan foods to the replicators. Including several that Kirk was very allergic to. Also, Jim doesn't eat meat when he and Spock eat lunch or any other meal together. This was something she was not even willing to do.

He severely reprimanded a lieutenant who thought it would be funny to use Spock as part of his April fool's day prank last April. The stupid lieutenant decided to see if all the rumors about Vulcans and chocolate were true by programming the replicators to add cocoa powder to every dish Spock ate that day. That lieutenant who is currently an ensign again is still cleaning out Jim's quarters once a week.

The day that would have been Amanda's next birthday Jim gave Spock the day off. He also gave her the day off so she could spend it with him even though Spock did not desire her company. Even when there was a problem in the lab that Spock could solve instantly, Jim refused to get him.

For Spock's birthday that he did not celebrate, through his many connections Jim track down one of the few remaining images of Amanda and had a painting commission for Spock. Judging by the quality, she knows that it was not cheap. The painting is now in Spock's quarters.

James Kirk is also responsible for her and Spock still being able to date in the first place. When Spock accepted the first officer position permanently, she was almost positive that would be the end of their relationship. Just like her he would put his job first. She knew this and agreed with it. She accepted it because at least if he was on board Enterprise they could still be friends. (This had nothing to do with the fact that as long as he was on board Enterprise he wasn't on New Vulcan trying to bioengineer 75% Vulcan babies with some other man or woman. Okay she's lying to herself again. Maybe she's a little bit more possessive of Spock then she has admitted to herself before. Maybe she's just staying with Spock right now because she doesn't want anyone else to have him. Not that she would ever say that out loud.)

After his dramatic entrance just seconds before the ship was to leave space dock, he took her to the side to explain what would happen now that he was first officer. She was expecting a breakup. Instead, she got a very discreet Vulcan kiss and was told that because her department reported directly to the captain their relationship could continue. At that point, she was too into her romantic little girl mind set to question this. Like a fool, she still believed Spock was only there for her.

She knew better now. He came for James. She now knows that "Grandpa Spock" was the one who convinced her Spock to return to Enterprise so that he could have that life altering friendship with Jim. (She wondered If her boyfriend knew that friend was sometimes used as a code word for lover in a much more homophobic time. Considering the Vulcan language had a word that means friend, lover, and brother simultaneously, she was sure her soon to be ex boyfriend knew what the older Spock was really talking about at least on a subconscious level.)

A few weeks ago, there was a conference between chief communication officers on several of the ships to discuss a new protocol that would be put into place in the coming year. This gave her the opportunity to talk to her fellow chief communications officers. She knew she was the youngest chief communications officer in the entire fleet but she had no idea what that really meant until she realized everyone she was talking to was at least 8 to 10 years older than her. If this meeting took place in person she would be the one in charge of getting everyone coffee. She was also one of the few that didn't already have the rank of commander.

During this conference, she discovered that she was the only one not in charge of the communications department and the Office Service professionals officers on board the ship. Those individuals usually reported directly to the captain or first officer. That explains why she's the one who has to make sure all paperwork gets turned in on time to Starfleet. At first she thought she got stuck with that duty because her captain was too lazy to do it himself. Then she found out she was also the only chief communications officer or department head who reported directly to their captain and not the first officer.

She finally figured it out last week when she found out that Jim had all regulations regarding personal relationships of Starfleet personnel and family memorize sense the time he was in the second grade. If anybody can find a loophole that would allow her to serve on the ship and still date Spock he would find it. He found a way to elevate her position without consulting Starfleet or raising her rank. By making her report directly to the captain and giving her additional responsibilities, her relationship with Spock could continue. (Although now her position was so elevated, Spock was one of the few people that was not off limits.)

She remembered hearing rumors about how desperate Jim was to get Spock to be his first officer. She had an acquaintance that worked in Starfleet's personnel office and knew who was assigned two enterprise officially before anyone else. Spock was Kirk's only choice for first officer.

The rumors were proven true when Kirk came to her on four separate occasions to see if she could talk her "boyfriend" into serving on the ship. Honestly, it wouldn't surprise her if Jim purposely promoted her just to get Spock to serve on the ship.

After the "Grandpa Spock incident" but before the "back rub incident" she finally confronted the captain on her suspicions. Unfortunately, she appeared to be two rational when she confronted him regarding her suspicions.

"You actually believe that I only promoted you so I could get Spock as my first officer? Actually, I don't even think you believe that. There would be more yelling if that were the case." She wanted to say "I think you only promoted me because you want to sleep with your first officer." Unfortunately, she was trying to have this conversation in the most professional way possible.

"Trust me I believe that. I just don't have the emotional energy to yell at you."

"That's the problem right there. You have not had the emotional energy to do a lot of things recently." She heard him mumble under his breath before he continued. "I didn't promote you just for Spock." There is that qualifier again. That means that he did promote her for the sake of Spock but not only for the sake of Spock. "I wanted the best first officer in the fleet but I wasn't going to use you to get him. I promoted you because you're good at what you do. There is no one better than you. Sometimes I think you were in the wrong track at the academy." That last part was said so low that she probably was not meant to hear it.

"I speak or understand 25 languages and 60 different dialects at the present time. I'm currently learning five more including the language of the planet where we're going for shore leave. I am well suited to be the chief communications officer even if you put me in charge of the administrative professional pool."

"I have no doubt you're the best communications officer in the fleet and that's why I promoted you. You also have one of the sharpest minds in Starfleet. You are a good leader. You should have been in the command track. Do you have any idea how more effective negotiations would be if the captain could speak to the leaders of whatever planet they are negotiating with without being dependent on the universal translator or their communications officer to translate the proceedings?"

After that backhanded compliment, she didn't have the heart to ask him if he regretted his decision to manipulate thing so her and Spock could stay dating. He could say nothing that would convince her he did not manipulate things around for Spock.

By her fourth cup of tea and the time of her body wrap she came to the conclusion that Jim's feelings for Spock were very genuine. However, she still wasn't ready to let go of Spock yet. Unfortunately, one of the two people she was avoiding was waiting for her in the room where her body wrap would take place.

"Is there a reason why you're interrupting my Spa time with your presence? It's bad enough that I have to watch you flirt with my boyfriend every day. You're one of my only friends now that everyone else is dead, but I still don't want to watch you make a pass at my boyfriend on the bridge." Why did she just say that out loud?

"I'm not hitting on your boyfriend. Okay, I am but it's not serious." She just rolls her eyes before letting him continue. "I need to know who on your staff is most familiar with the local languages. Lt. Richardson just started giving away federation secrets to his waiter after drinking one of the local drinks. Of course, this is before he passed out in the middle of the restaurant. Dr. McCoy is unable to analyze the substance and I need someone who can actually speak the language fluently to figure out what happened. I wouldn't have to interrupt your precious spa time if you actually had your communicator on like you were supposed to."

"Ensign Thompson and Lieutenant Cook are the most proficient in both dialects of the language spoken in this region. It wasn't my fault I couldn't bring the communicator in. The spa has a no cell phones/ communicator policy. Not that I would have picked up the call anyway. I'm trying to avoid you and your first officer who you are completely in love with. I am here trying to figure out how to break up with my boyfriend of the 2 ½ years after I figured out I don't love him. I don't think he will be that upset because he loves you anyway." As she spoke, Kirk was looking at her as If she was absolutely crazy. Just then, she started to become dizzy and grabbed the fifth cup of tea waiting for her.

"What are you drinking?" Kirk said as he took the tea cup from her hand.

"It's something the massage therapists recommended. She called it true relaxation tea." She said as her dizziness came back. She heard the captain say several expletives before everything went black.

* * *

The next thing she remembers is waking up in the private room in sick bay usually reserved for when the captain makes a complete fool of himself or barely avoids getting killed. She came here her the captain, Brittany, Spock and Dr. McCoy talking out in the hallway. Spock actually sounded worried and the captain sounded Pissed.

It turns out she made the first mistake of translating. She assumed her grasp of the language was better than what it actually was. What she thought was true relaxation tea was in reality "the truth will relax you" tea. During her entire time in the spa, she was essentially drinking truth serum. That explains why even in her mind she couldn't lie to herself anymore. The fact that she consumed four times the normal recommended dose is why she's currently drifting in and out of consciousness. At least that's what Spock said after he and Brittany interrogated the spa worker who gave her the drink.

After what she discovers to be almost 6 hours of drifting in and out of consciousness, she sees her captain sitting next to her bed.

"Why are you here? Shouldn't you be partying somewhere?" It seemed odd since usually the only person he waits to wake up from unconsciousness when things go badly is Spock.

"I'm glad to see that you're returning to your normal self. Unfortunately, because you just overdosed on alien tea, I get to spend the majority of my shore leave with you just to guarantee that you don't blurt out classified information to some random Romulan or Klingon at a club. You know too much classified information to be left alone even in sickbay. Not that I don't enjoy your lovely company. You are the most beautiful woman on the ship." She was very familiar with the regulation he was talking about. She couldn't be given anesthesia for any reason without a member of security being present just in case she said the wrong thing.

"Shouldn't it be a member of the security team staying with me?"

"Your clearance level is higher than anybody on the security team. According to regulations, you need to be watched by an officer who has the same security clearance." In other words the only two people on the ship qualified to baby sit her were the captain or her soon to be ex boyfriend. That explains why she's in isolation and Dr. McCoy hasn't been inside the room every 20 minutes.

She wondered why Spock wasn't the one watching her. Not that she really wants to be around her "boyfriend" when she can't lie to him. She doesn't want to accidentally blurt out that she wants to end their relationship while she's under the influence.

"Why don't you just let Spock watch me since he's actually on duty and you can go enjoy the rest of your shore leave." She said laying her head down on the bed again.

"He would be here if he could. Unfortunately the other side effects of that tea is your projecting your emotions so loudly that they're breaking through his mental shields. You don't even have to say anything right now and he is going to know. No guy deserves to have his girlfriend break up with him when she stoned on alien truth tea." He said this looking her directly in the eye. What he was really saying is "I don't want you to hurt Spock right now when you can't help yourself". "Besides, I'm the captain and you're my responsibility." Again the truth was in his eyes.

"You really are in love with him?" She blames the tea for asking him a question that she wouldn't under normal circumstances.

"He's just a friend Lieutenant." He used her title just then to put some professional distance between the two of them. She wished he was under the influence of the truth tea. This stuff is so powerful you cannot even lie to yourself.

"Do you know that friend is sometimes used as a code word for lover?" she blurted this out because she really can't help it.

"Yes."

"You and Spock will never be friends. I don't believe you. Do you think I'm stupid enough not to see you practically giving him the Vulcan equivalent of a hand job three times in the last month during your "chess games"?"

"Considering you can't lie right now I believe you believe that. Also the hand contact was an accident." She just rolled her eyes.

"I don't believe that." She said this with more emotion than she has used in months. "You tried to get my boyfriend to give you a massage on the bridge yesterday. I also know that was a complete set up. I saw you and him talking yesterday. Why did you run away when Spock accused you of making a pass at him?

"I did not run away."

"Yes you did. Remember I can't lie right now." She said this again with anger an irritation in her voice.

"If you have acted like this just once in the last six months, your boyfriend and me would not need to put on that show yesterday. The thing on the bridge was to elicit an emotional response from you other than complete detachment. Since you can't lie, why are you keeping everyone at arm's length? Why are you so numb? I had a mom who acted like that for the majority of my childhood. You did not even yell at me when you thought I use you to get Spock on the ship. What's going on? You said yourself that I'm not just your captain, I am your friend."

Because she was completely stoned on alien truth tea she couldn't blame it on the fact her relationship was falling apart. Therefore, she told him the entire truth. She told him about needing to be the strong one. She told him about not morning the deaths of her best friends. Then she told him about her fears that he will replace her in Spock's heart.

"I'm not going to take your boyfriend." He said picking up her hand.

"Would it be ok if I gave him to you?" That was the last thing she remembered saying before everything went black again.


	6. Sign 6: Jim Kirk Is Now Celibate

Thank you to everyone who has reviewed the previous chapter. For narrative purposes, I'm posting this chapter before chapter 6 of the companion story.

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Sign Number Six: Jim Kirk Is Now Celibate

After what the entire crew is referring to as "the truth tea incident" she spent the next 24 hours letting the tea work its way through her system. It turns out her massage therapist was telepathic and picked up on her dilemma. She did not miss translate the tea name as she originally thought, but was given the wrong name on purpose so she would drink the tea and have her necessary epiphany. She was deep in denial; it took 4 cups for her to admit the truth to herself.

Thanks to the meddling massage therapist she is enjoying her second day of shore leave in sick bay until they were absolutely sure she wouldn't start revealing security codes or drop unconscious again. She was okay with this because, if she was in sick bay she wouldn't have the opportunity to break up with Spock. Of course she couldn't stay in complete denial because a certain captain was sitting next to her for the duration of her stay.

Because Jim Kirk isn't one for regulations, she doesn't exactly believe that protocol is the only reason he's with her. (She's grateful that it's him watching her and not Spock. She wasn't sure she could take any conversation with her not-boyfriend now without being able to lie. The fact that he can pick up on her emotions right now without her saying anything scares her.)

She spent her second day of shore leave playing games of chess that she lost quickly with her friend. They avoided talking about unpleasant things. He tried to convince her to play truth or dare multiple times but she refuses to. Even when he agreed not to repeat anything she said in this room under the influence of the tea she still said no..

Of course because Jim is Jim, he asks her very inappropriate questions regarding Vulcan sexuality that she is unable not to answer. (She's almost positive he has created a subconscious list.) As long as he did not ask her more questions about why she was ready to break up with Spock or the real reason why she's been so distant these last six months she would be happy to answer his inappropriate questions. Really she wasn't that surprise he asked her sex questions. He did try to get into her pants the first time they met. His excuse did surprise her.

"It's been six months. I have to get my kicks somewhere."

"What do you mean it's been six months?" She said in absolute shock. It wasn't the first time he said such things but she never believed him.

"Alright it's been 6.56 months." It only took her a few moments to mentally calculate when that was.

"Gaila," she said the name in a whisper.

"Do you really find it that shocking that I haven't slept with anybody in that long?" He said in irritation with his "do you really think that little of me" look on his face.

"Yes, I find it difficult to believe that the only action you had in over six months is your right hand. Especially considering the fact that you proposition my soon to be ex boyfriend at least three times a day."

"Oh come on, you know he doesn't take it seriously. Otherwise, I would've taken the sexual harassment seminar two dozen times by now." That comment just made her roll her eyes.

"He enjoys it too much to tell you to stop. Besides, it's not sexual harassment if you like it." He opened his mouth for a moment to say something but close it quickly.

"I will confess sometimes I still see you as that cocky cadet who was supposedly screwing half the student population and a portion of the faculty. I'm still expecting to walk in on you bending your assistant over your desk."

"You do know there's this thing called professionalism right? There's also a Starfleet policy about captain's sleeping with their subordinates. Besides, my assistant is just too needy for that sort of thing."

"Trust me I am well aware of that policy. After our conversation last week where I found out you purposely change my job so I could keep dating Spock I went through the policy. Do you know for the purposes of dating first officers and captains are considered equal?" (It turns out there is a very long and sordid secret history in Starfleet of captains and first officers having physical if not romantic relationships.)

"Yes but my first officer has a girlfriend and I was under the impression he was only in to women up until a few weeks ago when I found out we had the same ex boyfriend. Also those rumors you heard about me fucking the entire student population at the academy were false or at the very least were extremely exaggerated. I actually have other relationships besides one night stands at the academy. You know I was with Jordan for almost three months. Just because I flirt with someone doesn't mean I'm taking them back to my quarters." She could hear the anger in his voice as he defended himself.

"You expect me to believe that three weeks ago when you were flirting with a certain ambassador's aid like crazy, nothing happened when you gave him a "special tour" of the ship?" Sarcasm was dripping off her voice as she said this.

"I walked him around the ship and convinced him to convince his boss to sign the treaty. I may have used a bedroom voice when I was speaking to him, but that's as far as it went."

"What about two months ago with that Prime Minister who kept grabbing your backside during negotiations?"

"If you remember, she was also grabbing your backside during negotiations. If you remember from the background packet, that is a sign of goodwill in their culture. They don't mean anything sexual by it." She was so mad at him for getting her on that point. She was also shocked he actually read the background paper.

"What about a few months ago, when negotiations were starting to fall apart and you disappeared with the main negotiator for almost an hour? You came back completely happy and dazed with a promise that his planet would sign the treaty granting the federation mining rights on their planet."

"I was happy that the planet agreed to sign the treaty. I was dazed because I just consumed several shots of a very high proof alcohol. Does it really matter what I tell you? You are still going to believe I am that same person who hit on you in that bar in Iowa. Did you ever think that maybe I take being the captain of this ship seriously and I am not going to jeopardize that position by fucking around with my crew or the various leaders we meet?"

"My second year at the academy I worked a part time job at the Starfleet office that handles disciplinary issues. My job was to translate witness statements into standard, as well as, check the accuracy of already translated statements. Because of the importance of accuracy in legal proceedings, they didn't trust computers to do the job. During my time there were two different cases of captains sleeping with their subordinates. One was a case of two people falling in love and that I could deal with. That captain also was allowed to keep his commission. The other case was so bad the man lost his position. It's hard to assume you're not doing the same thing when I've already seen individuals almost twice your age screwing around."

"What happened in the other case specifically?

"I can't give you too many specifics because the information is confidential. The situation involved a captain that had a reputation for fooling around with his crew. Apparently he forced his assistant to sleep with him and he got her pregnant." She could see the anger on his face when she told him this.

"I would never do anything like that."

"I know." She was willing to accept that. "However, I don't believe the only reason why you're not sleeping with half the crew is professionalism."

"Why is that?"

"First, you are on shore leave right now. You could be at any bar or club picking someone up for a one night stand. You can go find someone to sleep with who wouldn't jeopardize your career or this ship. Instead, you are playing board games with me because I accidentally drank the wrong tea at the spa."

"Like I told you yesterday, I'm the captain and I'm responsible for those on my crew. Leaving you hear to go out and get laid is very unprofessional." She laughs at that.

"I really wish you drink some of that tea so you would stop lying to yourself. You love Spock and don't want to hurt him." Again his mouth opened wide for a moment before any words actually came out.

"I thought you couldn't lie right now?" the question came out in a whisper.

"I can't." At that moment he excused himself with some silly excuse about getting another board game for the two of them to play. He never came back. His excuse was as soon as she was able to not tell him the name of the captain and assistant he knew she would not reveal any other sensitive material even though she was under the influence.

The next day when she returned to the planet after being given the all clear from Dr. McCoy she went back to the spa. It turns out they didn't give her the same tea as everyone else who OD. The version she was given was specifically designed to get you to tell the truth about your personal relationships to yourself and anyone else involved. Apparently her captain knew full well that she wouldn't be blabbing security codes. So why did he stay with her?

She didn't care at that moment. Instead, she bought a box of that special tea. This would be planned B if a certain captain and first officer continue to refused to see what is really happening between them. Of course, she probably should figure out how to break up with Spock before she locks him in a room with the object of his desire.


	7. Sign 7: Jim Kirk is Jealous

Thank you to everyone who read or reviewed the last chapter.

**Chapter seven: Jim Kirk is jealous**

* * *

She never did get the opportunity to expose a certain captain and that guy he's in love with to the effects of that truth tea. It turns out Jim has a severe food allergy to the tea. When she tried to drug the two idiots in question out of their denial, she was stopped by a certain meddling doctor. Stupid doctor.

In other news, Spock is officially no longer her boyfriend. She broke up with him during their last day of shore leave during karaoke when she projected all her emotions at him. It took him three days of meditation to psychically recover.

Even though she broke up with Spock in front of the ships biggest gossip, no one on the ship except for Jim and Britney knew that the relationship was no longer romantic in nature . It wasn't until two weeks later after a slip up on her part that anyone else on the ship knew. (Contrary to popular belief Brittany is not the biggest gossip on the ship. That title belongs again to a certain doctor. To read more about her breakup with that oblivious first officer see six of her reflection on ex boyfriends in denial.)

She could understand why no one picked up on the break up. It wasn't like they were fighting on the bridge. Neither one of them was walking around as if the world ended. It wasn't her first breakup and it wouldn't be her last.

Their work relationship didn't change at all. Maybe it was better because she didn't fill as tense on the bridge when she saw Jim flirting with Spock. It is easier to work when she is not angry or completely detached from everything around her. It's easier to function when you're not just going through the motions.

As for their personal relationship the only difference was the lack of physical intimacy. That wasn't much of a change, considering the fact that they haven't had sex for months. Also the PDAs had stopped long ago.

Actually their personal relationship has improved greatly in the last month since the breakup. They were talking to each other more post breakup than they did in the last seven months even if they are still avoiding the Jim shaped elephant in the room.

They started having lunch together again like they use to. Of course, Jim was there and so was Brittany. She still watched Jim and Spock play chess after-hours. It was actually more fun now because she doesn't feel that same anger. She just sits there and laughs every time Jim does something overtly sexual that they both tried to deny happened. Let's just say that at least on one occasion there was a repeat of the VBJ incident. At least this time it was in the privacy of Jim's bedroom.

She wonders why it was so easy for her and Spock to transition into friendship. She quickly realizes it's because they really didn't just break up a month ago but probably the moment she became aware that he was in love with Jim and Jim was in love with him. Last month they just made it official. Like she stated earlier they stopped having sex months before. The official end just made it easier to rebuild the rest of their relationship.

Now she can admit it to herself that she had too much respect for Jim to engage in a make out session with Spock in front of him just to hurt him. She knew Jim was jealous of her physical relationship with Spock and neither she nor Spock was going to rub it in his face. She remembered how he look every time he saw them kiss. She would never hurt a friend like that even if she was mad at him.

Even though Jim tried to be a friend and console her after the breakup she could tell that he was very happy that Spock was free to be with him or be forced witness a repeat of the transporter room incident. His constant smiling gave him away.

Unfortunately, by making it official they were now both surrounded by idiots trying to get into both their pants. It was all her fault. One afternoon two weeks after the official breakup, a certain colleague of hers made a nasty comment about her inability to keep her boyfriend from "flirting" with the captain. Of course, the woman in question used a lot of workplace inappropriate language when she made these nasty accusations.

"Why should I care what Spock does with the captain? He's not my boyfriend. We are just friends now. He is free to be with whoever he wants." (Actually she's only okay with him being with Jim. Anyone else she would have a problem with, but she was not going to tell Lieutenant Rockwell that.)

Within the hour, she had six invitations to dinner, three invitations to watch historical 21st century films at the next movie night, two invitations to teach someone a new language, and one invitation that was so sexually explicit that she sent it to her captain to deal with. The ensign that sent it is currently cleaning out the captain's bathroom for the next six months the old-fashioned way.

At dinner that evening, she had 8 different men and one woman make a pass at her. Three of which occurred before she even sat down at her table. She personally did not want the attention. She was not looking for a relationship or anything else.

The situation got so bad that a memo was sent out about appropriate Starfleet decorum and workplace relationships. She's pretty sure that this memo was sent more on Spock's behalf then hers.

Now if a certain captain would make a move on Spock, he wouldn't be accosted by every single available woman on the ship. There would be no need for a ship wide memo if people knew that Spock was Jim's. Unfortunately Spock and Jim were still in the denial phase. She really thought this would end as soon as her relationship with Spock did.

Instead, Jim watched in anger as some of the most desperate women in Starfleet tried to hit on **his **Spock. The first day Spock received 10 invitations for dinner, five invitations to movie night, three invitations to be the father of their unborn children, and one proposition that was so sexually explicit that Spock reported it to Jim. That woman is currently cleaning Nyota's bathroom for the next year in addition to taking the sexual harassment seminar.

There are also several members of the crew who forgot not to make direct hand contact with Spock. This appeared to be the preferred method of choice for flirting with Spock. Jim looked on with anger every time some little girl tried to run a finger over Spock's hand. She just thought it was funny he never realized he was doing the same thing when she was with Spock.

She, Brittany, and the captain were currently sitting at a table in the cafeteria watching her ex boyfriend get molested by a female nurse and a member of the security team. She thought it was funny but Jim was pissed.

"You know I figured that after being told in a very Vulcan way that he's just not interested, Dana would back off. This is like the fifth attempt." Brittany said as she started to drink her replicated juice.

"I think I am going to have to send out another memo on appropriate behavior and respecting the cultural values of others." This was Jim Kirk code for "I'm going to send out a ship wide warning for everybody to keep their hands off my Vulcan". She and Brittany found the desperate women throwing themselves at Spock amusing, especially because he just ignored their behavior. Jim just found it annoying.

The fact that he was jealous of every single girl (or guy) that even look at Spock made the situation even funnier. Not that he would admit that he was jealous, because Jim Kirk does not get jealous. Of course when it comes to Spock, Jim is always jealous.

"Will you actually read that memo yourself this time? You do remember that we are scheduled to transport the delegation from the new Vulcan colony to babble in a few days. I would hate for you to accidentally molest Spock's father. " Nyota said as she took a bite of her grilled cheese.

Jim was well aware that the Vulcan delegation was coming. Spock's dad purposely asked that the Enterprise be the ship that would take the Vulcan delegation to Babble. "Grandpa Spock" contacted her and Jim two days ago to warn them of Sarek's true intentions. Because the Vulcan species is on the brink of extinction Spock's father is trying to get him to settle down with a nice person to have either 75% Vulcan babies or 25% Vulcan babies. Sarek is bringing several aides with him in the hopes that one would serve as a possible mate for Spock. Jim was not happy. They were currently not talking about that situation.

"It was an accident. I forgot." Jim said in his defense.

"How can you forget? You don't accidentally give someone of Vulcan BJ in a family restaurant." Brittany said this a little too loud. Nyota personally wondered how Brittany even knew about this.

"Sometimes I forget to see Spock as a Vulcan and just see him as Spock. You told her?" He said that last part with a little bit of shock and anger.

"No she didn't tell me. Lieutenant Hammer and his "date" for the evening were two tables away. They were close enough to get this wonderful piece of potential blackmail material." Brittany said as she passed her PADD to Jim. She was shocked to see Jim was embarrassed when he looked at the video file. She was not shocked to see that he was also turned on.

"Don't worry thanks to the skills acquired from a certain ex boyfriend I was able to hack into his computer to destroy all copies of the file before they got all over the ship. That is the only copy." Only Brittany would confess to her superior officer that she hacked into the Computer System.

"If it wasn't for the fact that I was the one who taught you how to hack in the first place, I would put you on probation right now. Just promise me you will only use your powers for good."

"I guess I'm not allowed to break into the computers for the surveillance system anymore."

"You two were together?"

"More like slept together a couple of dozen times over the years, but nothing recent." Brittany said to her. She never did hear confirmation because the conversation ended abruptly when Spock's sat down at the table. At that point Spock and Jim were too lost in each other to remember that she and Brittany were at the table.

In the afternoon when she was working in the lad with Brittany she was able to get more details. It turned out Ensign Thompson is the daughter of Captain Elena Thompson and First Officer Richard Thompson of the USS OBAMA. They're the reason why first officers and captains are now allowed to engage in relationships with each other. They were the two that challenged the fraternization policy and won. Spock and Jim need to send Brittany's parents of fruit basket.

Her parents also happened to be survivors of the Kelvin incident. Her parents were friends that probably would have gone their separate ways if not for surviving a near death experience. As soon as the two were rescued they declare their love for each other and were married two weeks later. Three years later Brittany was born.

Jim and Brittany met when they were kids at Kelvin survivor reunions that they were both forced to go to. In their teenage years and at the Academy, they just clicked but it was never anything serious.

"So that's why you're the only person that can get him to do paperwork. He really is afraid if you."

"No, I just have way too much potential blackmail material."

* * *

Three days later when the Vulcan delegation arrives she watches her captain tried to hide his obvious jealousy of the two girls and one guy brought to catch Spock's attention. It probably would have been worse if Spock showed any interest whatsoever. Spock pretty much avoided everyone in the delegation including his other self. Actually he was avoiding his future step mom but that's a completely different matter. She thought it was so funny that Jim would get a very sad expression on his face every time a member of the delegation that was a non-relative so much as spoke to Spock.

At dinner the show of jealousy continued. She was desperately trying not to laugh as she watched Jim tried to get through the dinner without telling everyone to get off his Spock. It just wasn't possible. Good thing she was sitting next to "grandfather Spock" at this dinner. He did not find expressing amusement offensive.

"I am pleased to see that you are in good spirits." He whispered to her so no one else heard. It probably helped that they were having this conversation in a language that his younger counterpart wasn't familiar with but she was.

"My stepmom said you could either laugh about a situation or cry about it. Laughter is better for the soul. Was your Jim in this much denial about his feelings for you." She replied back in the same language. She noticed his eyebrow rose a little when she said the term "stepmom". She would have to ask him about that later.

"I believed I never confirmed or denied the fact that Jim and I had a relationship in the other dimension that went beyond friendship."

"By not confirming that you had a relationship you confirm that you had a relationship." He gives her that same look that her Spock gives her when he gives up on trying to reason with illogical humans.

"We were both in denial." He said slowly, giving in to her. "However, we were not in such deep denial that I would allow my Jim to engage in that type of physical contact without seeing it in a sexual light." He said in regards to the way Jim was touching Spock in front of everyone. At least it wasn't oral this time.

All the Vulcan members of the delegation except for Spock's father and "Grandpa Spock" were expressing the Vulcan equivalent of shock.

In the hallway after dinner she overheard Sarek ask Spock why he neglected to mention that he was in a romantic relationship with his captain. When Spock argued that nothing was going on his father told him that was exactly how he acted when he first fell in love with Amanda. He then left a completely speechless Spock in the hallway.

Of course, the truly hilarious moment was the next morning when Sarek ask Jim what his intentions were regarding his son. Jim's dear in headlights expression was priceless. The level of denial was getting so bad she may start researching the possibility of a truth tea that is hypoallergenic.


	8. Sign 8:Jim is protective of his Vulcan

Thank you to everyone who read or reviewed the last chapter.

**Sign Eight: Jim Kirk is protective of his Vulcan**

Jim Kirk is very protective of his crew. If she didn't know this before, she was well aware of it after he stayed with her for a day and a half during the truth tea incident. It is obvious that Jim Kirk will do anything to protect any member of his crew in battle or other crisis situations. When it comes to Spock, it is more than that.

With the crew it was more like brotherly protection or maybe even like a father protecting his children. In the beginning maybe it started that way with Spock. Over time his protection of Spock became more territorial. It also became more like a lover protecting his most beloved possession then than a brother protecting his sibling. There was still elements of brotherly protection in there as well. Now she understood why the Vulcan language has a word that means brother, lover, and friends simultaneously.

Over the course of the last few months in these rants she has given several examples of Jim's protective behavior regarding Spock. This ranges from not saying the name Amanda out loud in his presence to being there for Spock when their relationship was falling apart. This also includes Jim acting like a jealous toddler when Spock is with other people, but that was its own special rant.

She knows for a fact that he stayed with Spock the night of their breakup. She caught him leaving Spock's room at the hotel. He told her nothing was going on, but she wasn't sure if that was the denial talking or not. She decided not to ask too many questions because they were getting good at dodging them.

The crew knew that practical jokes or inappropriate conduct involving Spock was a serious offence punishable by the most crazy things that a genius repeat offender could come up with. The three officers that were stupid enough to try a repeat of the April fool's incident by spiking Spock's food with cocoa powder are currently assigned to be Scotty special engineer helpers for the next six months. The girl who yesterday tried to molest Spock in front of the entire Vulcan delegation will be suffering through the longest seminar possible she can put together on appropriate cultural decorum. Even Jim's friend Dr. McCoy has learned not to say mean things about Spock in his presents. (She won't call Dr. McCoy Jim's best friend anymore. The title at some point became Spock's any will keep it even when they finally admit that they love each other. She's jealous of the fact that they will probably be able to be friends and lovers when she and Spock were never able to be both simultaneously.)

She truly did not comprehend what Jim was willing to do to protect Spock until she witnessed Jim go head to head with Admiral Pike. She was now aware that this wasn't the first time that Jim has lied to Starfleet to protect Spock. More accurately, it was probably the fourth or fifth at this point.

The first time was regarding the "bridge incident". According to the official report after Jim "spoke" with Spock, he realized that he was emotionally compromised and resigned his position. There was not one mention of Spock bending Kirk over a control panel and trying to kill him or at the very least strangle him. (Even she is starting to believe Brittany's erotic asphyxiation argument. She needs more friends. Preferably, some that are not crazy.)

At the time, none who wanted to could contradict Jim's account because the surveillance footage mysteriously disappeared along with any other evidence that would disprove Jim's account. Most people like her who actually were on the bridge chose to go along with Jim's edited version of events. Even in light of the fact his planet and his mom died right before the incident, she seriously doubted they would let him be first officer of the Enterprise after attempted murder of his future captain.

She now knows that Jim had Brittany hack into the computer system to destroy all the electronic evidence so he could not be traced to the disappearance. She has since discovered that the only reason why Brittany was in the communications track is that the Admiralty and her mother were absolutely terrified of her picking up any more computer skills.

She's pretty sure Jim was not counting on Brittany posting certain scenes from the incident in a sexual context for the entire ship to see. Although knowing Jim, maybe he asked her to do it. If everybody thought the entire thing was a sex game, how could Spock get in trouble for attempted murder or assault of an officer? Thanks to Brittany's "rumors", even the people who actually saw what happened are not sure what happened anymore.

The other incident that she is aware of happen around two months ago. She remembered listening to Jim tell the Admiral that Spock utilize the Vulcan nerve pinch after a leader of a delegation made a threatening overture regarding the captain. Because of Jim sparkling smile, his version of the truth was accepted and everybody went along with his version of what happened.

The truth was a very jealous Spock overreacted when the leader of one of the delegations touched his property inappropriately from his perspective. (To learn more about what really happen, see her other rant on jealous former boyfriends who are starting to lose their semi Vulcan mind due to Jim Kirk.)

Now they are essentially in a videoconference with Admiral Pike discussing the aftermath of what Jim is referring to as "the invasion of the Vulcans." The only good thing about this mission was nobody died.

"If it was anybody else, I would find it impossible for them to get in this much trouble during a simple assignment to transport delegates to a conference."

"Sir with all due respect, there's nothing simple about trying to keep members from several different delegations from killing each other." Jim said looking directly at Pike.

"Yet, you're the one who punched a member of the Vulcan delegation. Not that we have anything but the victims word to go by. The Enterprise's surveillance system is suffering again from that same malfunction that seems to cause very important surveillance footage to disappear." For some reason he looked at Brittany directly when he said this. She was asked to bring Ensign Thompson to the meeting and sit on this discussion herself. She wasn't entirely sure why she was here.

"Let's start with something simple. Why was it never reported that Ensign Thompson imprison you and Commander Spock in a classified conference room against your will? Instead I get a request to give Ms. Thompson a promotion 24 hours after the incident allegedly occurred."

So that's why she is here to witness this. She's not even sure how Pike found out about that incident. She never told anybody what Brittany did. Spock and Kirk chose not to report the incident because it turns out they did not even realize they were locked in the room because of Brittany's programming skills until she told them what she did. They just assumed the privacy lock malfunctioned. When she asked Jim and Spock why they engaged the privacy lock, they ask her how things were going in her department.

"Sir, your statement isn't accurate." Brittany said in her defense.

"So you did not lock the two most senior commanding officers of your ship in a conference room against their will?"

"I admit that I did lock Captain Kirk and Commander Spock in one of the classified conference rooms. I object to your allegation that it was against their will." She will not laugh at the absurdity of the situation. Laughing in front of your admiral is bad.

"Do you have any idea how dangerous something like that is Ensign Thompson? Although you were not an active member of Starfleet at the time, you have probably logged more hours on a starship than anyone else has on Enterprise. You of all people know how dangerous it is for the highest ranking officers to become unavailable in a crisis situation."

"Yes, I know how dangerous such a situation could be, which is why I designed the program to automatically disengage if the ship goes into crisis mode. Second, I locked the guy who created the Kobayashi Maru and the guy who hacked into the Kobayashi Maru in a room together with computer access. If they really wanted to get out of that room they could have beaten my program easily. I'm just a little old linguistics expert. I don't know anything about computers." That sentence was so ridiculous even Spock rolled his eyes.

"We both know the only reason why you did not track to become a science officer with a computer specialization was it was part of your plea bargain after you reprogrammed every ship in the fleet to play the original recording of the song _Bombs Over Baghdad_ every time the ships went into combat. It took two weeks for Starfleet's brightest minds to undo what you did to the system."

"I still don't see why everybody was so mad about that. I was a board 16 year old with way too much time on my hands. I exposed a very major flaw in the Starfleet computer network. If you remember correctly, then Cadet Spock managed to discover the system error within 2 hours of being allowed to work on the project. That alone proves my point that either of them could have beaten the program quickly, if they wanted to."

"However, your actions were still malicious in intent."

"My actions were not malicious." Of course, her intent was not malicious. What's malicious about trying to get your captain and his first officer to stop acting like infants and confess that they love each other? "I did not lock them in the room for the sake of locking them in the room and keeping them away from commanding the ship. The whole purpose of the exercise was to get them to break out of the room. The only way they were going to get out of the room was to stop acting like two five year olds and work together. It was a team building exercise. Also it is not in the best interest of the ship to have the ship's two most senior officers arguing in the hallway."

Both Spock and Jim were giving her the death glare as she said this. At this point she realizes they did not report with Brittany did deliberately because then they would have to explain why they were arguing or more importantly what they were arguing about. Do you really want to tell the Admiralty that you were fighting with your first officer because you're in love with him, but are too scared to admit it?

"Honestly sir, we didn't even know that Ensign Thompson engaged the program until after the fact. We simply assume the privacy locked malfunctioned. Once we realized we were locked in the room, it took Spock and me about 15 minutes to deactivate her program."

"I assume that the guy who believed cheating on the Kobayashi Maru was a valid strategy, would accept Ensign Thompson's argument?"

"I do find Ensign Thompson's argument valid. We were behaving in an inappropriate way before being locked in the room. It was not appropriate for us to argue with each other in front of the crew and visiting dignitaries. We needed to calm down and being stuck in the room for a while, did accomplish that." Spock instantly agreed with Jim statement.

"What were you and Commander Spock arguing about?" Only she caught the slight look of hesitation that Jim had momentarily before he went into his explanation of events.

"Sir, we were discussing the implementation of certain Starfleet regulations." Spock and Jim then proceeded to give a highly detailed synapses of the argument from the day before the conference room incident that made Pike regret asking the question.

Of course, Jim left out any mentions of Spock's extremely jealous behavior or his extremely jealous behavior for that matter. They were both being extremely territorial with each other.

"Since we have no complaining victims, I will let the situation with Ensign Thompson drop. Ensign Thompson you are dismissed." After Brittany left the room Admiral Pike asked the question that has been on her mind for the last few days. She doubted even Admiral Pike could get a straight answer.

"Why exactly did it take you and Commander Spock over an hour to realize that you were locked in the room?"

"We were discussing important ship business involving Ensign Thompson's promotion and improving our handling of classified material." Jim said this with his brilliant smile displayed as prominently as possible. He was seriously hoping those eyelashes and smile worked on Pike, so he would not ask any more questions regarding this event.

"Commander Spock, do you agree with Captain Kirk's account of your discussion?"

"What Captain Kirk described was accurate. In the conference room we discussed many matters relating to the well being of the ship." Now she knew that Spock was not necessarily lying but omitting certain pertinent facts.

"I thought Vulcans do not lie?" She had to try very hard to keep herself from laughing when Pike asked this. She reminded herself once again it would be highly inappropriate to laugh in front of Pike.

"We do not sir."

* * *

No one knows what happened in that conference room but Spock and Jim. What she does know is 5 minutes into being in the conference room together they engaged the privacy lock. They spent the next hour involved in some activity that had Jim and Spock so distracted that they did not even tried to get out of the room. When they left the room one of the conference room chairs was broken. Whatever happened in that room the two men in front of her were lying through their teeth to keep Pike from finding out the truth.

There are basically two rumors going around the ship involving what happened. Rumor number one is that Spock and Jim had another knockout drag out fight in the conference room resulting in Spock trying to kill him again.

She personally doesn't buy into this because one, they are completely in love with each other. Two, if they were going to fight they would do it in the workout room instead of a conference room. Also they would most likely wait until after hours. Finally, contrary to what certain people tried to tell themselves, those were not bruises on Jim's neck.

The second rumor going around the ship was that Jim and Spock had sex in the conference room. This one is more viable. First, they are completely in love with each other. Second, Jim left the room only wearing his black T shirt. His command yellow top was severely damage during their "conversation".

Most importantly, that thing that everybody thought was a bruise are really bite marks. She knows from personal experience that a certain supposedly repressed Vulcan has a biting fetish. Usually he remembered not to bite in places that can be easily seen when wearing a uniform.

Those who believe they got into a knock out drag out fight will argue that their behavior has not changed enough to signify that they had had sex. She doesn't believe that argument. Because it's none of their business, she will not point out the fact that Jim and Spock had been in love with each other for months and have already engaged in certain behaviors of a sexual nature.

They've already had Vulcan oral sex in front of her in a family restaurant on shore leave before her and Spock technically broke up. They have also repeated the act several times in front of her. Every single time they deny that it happened.

She is pretty sure they did have sex or at the very least did something in that room of a sexual nature. However, does sex even count if they keep arguing up and down that they are just friends? Again whenever she tries to talk to them about what happen in that room they changed the subject as fast as possible.

Either scenario would get Spock and/or Jim in trouble. Getting in a physical altercation with a superior officer is a serious offence. Having sex with a fellow officer when you're supposed to be on duty is also a serious offence. Starfleet cannot say anything about them having sex when they are not on duty thanks to Brittany's parents suing them like crazy.

* * *

Pike, realizing that he was never going to find out what happened in that conference room, he decided to move on to yesterday afternoon's incident involving Jim punching the now former aide to Ambassador Spock of new Vulcan, Schreck.

The official story is that the aid was behaving in an inappropriate way and was rendered unconscious via Vulcan nerve pinch by Spock. Of course, they never specified which Spock.

The truth of the matter is that Schreck was being an absolute prick. Sense Schreck and his sister T'Pan who worked for Ambassador Sarek arrived on the ship they have been nothing but nasty to Spock. They treated him as less, simply because he is also part human. The man was a complete idiot because he was unable to realize that his boss was not only half human but the same person he was insulting.

When both ambassadors were around the two aides were complete suck ups. From what Ambassador Spock told her, he was pretty sure both were only interested in bonding with Spock the younger because he came from an extremely wealthy family that ironically enough was even wealthier after the destruction of Vulcan do to inheriting many off planet assets.

This assumption was verified by their behavior when alone with Spock. On the last day when Ambassador Spock and Ambassador Sarek were in conference room seven Spock and Jim were eating lunch with Spock's future stepmom T'Pay in the Officer's dining room. Actually, Spock was being forced to spend time with T'Pay and Jim was there for moral support. She was dragged along to play buffer.

The lunch was actually going well due to the fact that Spock and T'Pay had many of the same interests. That was ruined by Schreck and T'Pan walking into the formal dining room. Schreck made some nasty comments about Spock using several derogatory terms which made Jim so angry that she was sure he was channeling that guy she met in Iowa who like to get in bar fights.

Spock was literally pulling a very protective Jim back down to the table and started stroking his hand. She was sure that only she and T'Pay could see the very intimate gesture. When she talked to both of them later about what she saw, they use that just friends excuse again. At that point, she was ready to deck both of them herself.

T'Pay retaliated by making the following snide remark in high Vulcan, "The only thing smaller than your microscopic genitalia is your minuscule intellect."

Schreck retaliated by saying that T'Pay has been tainted by her contact with humans. She then thanked him for his compliment. At that point, Jim was calm enough to try being a diplomat and escort Schreck out of the dining area. She already called security the moment Spock had to physically restrain Jim.

Schreck then roughly pushed Jim aside and preceded to call Spock the son of a human prostitute. The exact Vulcan word translates out to something dirtier than that but she chooses not to use that term in polite company.

When Spock does not react at all, he calls Jim the same nasty word in Vulcan along with a very nasty word in Vulcan that is used to ridicule those who are homosexual. She felt this was funny considering Schreck at the very least must be bisexual.

She could see that Spock was clenching his fists but she was sure the idiot could not see this. Next, Schreck made the dangerous mistake of referring to Amanda by the same nasty Vulcan word for prostitute as the two ambassadors walked into the room without his knowledge.

She sees Spock raise one eyebrow and gives the idiot in question his "I'm going to kick your ass" look. Jim looked absolutely still and calm. Of the two men, she expects Spock to throw the first punch. Honestly, she did not think her captain was stupid enough to provoke an individual that was three times stronger than him. There was also no way that he would know exactly what those words meant.

She really needs to remember to never assume anything when Jim Kirk was involved. First of all Jim Kirk is an impulsive idiot who acts first and gets patched up in Sick Bay later. Second, her "genius in the closet" captain speaks both high and standard Vulcan fluently. Finally, this was the same guy who almost got himself killed by baiting the same Vulcan that he is now completely in love with.

As she was trying to stop her friend from ripping apart Schreck with his bare hands, her beyond stupid Captain decided to sucker punch a Vulcan. The idiot in question then attacked Jim, which triggered Spock's over protectiveness. Spock then proceeded to beat the hell out of Schreck. The security team just watched in horror as the scene continued.

Fortunately, for their sake "Grandpa Spock" is nowhere near as impulsive as his younger counterpart. He was the one who had the good sense to render all three of them unconscious with a little help. It was quite funny to see three twentysomethings knocked out by a man well into his second century of life.

After regaining consciousness and losing his job, Schreck apparently notified Starfleet of what happen leaving out lots of details like the fact he pushed Jim first.

After getting the severely edited version from Jim that left out that Spock the younger did anything against regulations, Admiral Pike stared at both men in absolute disbelief. He was rubbing his temple with his hands.

"Captain Kirk and Commander Spock you are dismissed we will discuss these matters at a later time." Admiral Pike said with a frustrated sigh. For some reason she was asked to stay behind. The moment Jim and Spock were out of the room he was laughing.

"Are you okay Admiral?" She asked as he continue laughing uncontrollably.

"That was just the most farfetched story I've ever heard. Do they actually expect anyone to believe that is what happened?"

"I'm sure they believe the story."

"They do realize that there's nothing wrong with the two of them dating or engaging in any type a relationship?"

"Yes sir, they are very familiar with the regulations. Unfortunately, they're still in denial about the status of their relationship to their selves. I seriously doubt they can be honest with Starfleet when they are being dishonest with themselves."

"Considering Starfleet has received several wedding presents for the two we are well aware of their relationship. We are also aware of Ensign Thompson's true actions during what I am personally referring to as the "nerve pinch diplomatic incident" and how her quick thinking prevented war from breaking out. Her promotion to lieutenant has been approved despite her most recent indiscretion. As for the captain and commander, there's no proof that they did anything wrong due to the surveillance footage disappearing. I will create my own special punishment." He said with a mysterious smile.

"That seems fair."

"You may want to remind a certain subordinate not to include certain things in emails to her brother such as the possibility of her captain and his first officer having sex in a classified conference room during lunch after she locked them in the room." So that's how he found out.

"I will try to remember to do so, sir."

"Also wish the happy couple luck. I expect to be receiving an invitation to the wedding any day now."

After ending the transmission with the Admiral, she came to the conclusion that drastic measures were needed. She didn't think she or the ship could take much more of this. More importantly, she could not take much more of this.


	9. Sign 9: Everybody knows

Thank you to everyone who read or reviewed the last chapter. We are getting into the home stretch of this story. Sorry for the long wait. I've been battling a particularly nasty case of bronchitis that has cut down my ability to dictate significantly.

Warning: Sexual Content and Angst

**

* * *

**

Sign Nine: Everybody knows (that wants to)

The greatest sign that Jim is completely in love with Spock is everybody knows it. At least she's not alone in her suspicions anymore.

It was less than two weeks until the one year anniversary of Jim and Spock's first meeting and at least they were now only in semi-denial about being in love with each other. (She wanted to think of the anniversary in happy terms. Their first meeting was one of the few happy things that happened during that time. She did not want to think about the fact that it's been almost a year since she lost three of her best friends and Spock lost his mother. She's tired of thinking about death.)

Her captain and his first officer are still trying to convince her and everyone else that there just friends. Of course, now they are friends who sleep with each other. She doesn't know who they are trying to fool. She doesn't even think they believe that. (Too many Freudian slips on Jim's part.)

She's pretty sure friends with benefits do not kiss each other in public, finish each other's sentences, or hold secret conversations without saying a word. They know each other better than they know themselves. It's like their two halves of the same soul.

They finally told her a couple of weeks ago that they were sleeping together. She already knew, but it was nice that they finally told her. The conference room incident was too obvious. There was no other logical explanation for the chair of being broken.

They had no choice but to tell her after they made out in front of Jim's mom when they ran into her at Starbase 26 when the enterprise stop there for necessary repairs after a battle that went badly. Jim's mom completely humiliated him in public by belittling his lifestyle choices with certain homophobic slurs. Jim finally told his mother to go fuck herself in a somewhat polite way. Then Spock kissed Jim in a way that made her realize that Spock never really kissed her.

Even Jim's mom who hadn't seen him for years could see that they were together. (For more details on what happened when she found out that her captain and ex boyfriend were now supposedly just friends with benefits see her other reflection on the highly delusional men in her life. How delusional can they be to think it is just sex? Friends who are just sleeping together don't spend the entire night in sick bay sleeping on a chair when the other one is hurt. They are absolute idiots that she wants to slap upside the head.)

She's just happy the restaurant where the latest incident occurred was dark and they were all wearing civilian clothes. Every tabloid in the federation and beyond would have had a field day with images from that confrontation.

At first, she was the only one who knew officially that there was a sexual element to this epic friendship between captain and first officer and she was planning on keeping it that way. It was nobody's business but theirs. Yet secrets cannot stay secrets forever, especially when it's obvious. Everybody else knew who wanted to know by now. The only people who didn't see it were the couple themselves (maybe?) or those who are not ready to accept that the two were together.

Let's be honest even before she ended her relationship with Spock many months ago, she has been asked by many diplomats and local inhabitants if Jim and Spock were in fact married. When they break into an argument during the middle of a mission it just screams old married couple.

Most people on the ship found out during Admiral Pike's creative punishment for certain transgressions involving two lovesick fools who happen to be in command of Starfleet's flagship. Yes, Admiral Pike could see what was going on between captain and first officer. (Unfortunately, other Admirals were completely clueless, such as the idiot who was trying to give Spock his own ship. See other rant.)

Traditional punishments were out of the question for the duo's many crimes against the Federation because too much of the evidence was destroyed by a closet hacker who was reassigned to her mother ship as punishment. These transgressions include punching out an ambassador's aid for being an ass to your first officer/not-a-boyfriend. Having your subordinate break into the ship's surveillance system and deleting certain files to keep your captain/not-a-boyfriend from getting Court marshaled for defending your honor. Administering the nerve pinch to a diplomat who was merely presenting the captain with a local greeting because you were upset she was touching the guy you are in love with. Lying to the Admiralty about why your first officer/not-a-boyfriend nerve pinched a diplomat. Arguing with your captain/not-a-boyfriend or first officer/not-a-boyfriend in front of the entire crew because you are jealous of the attention he is receiving. (No wonder everyone could see it was love.) Her only transgression was her inability to keep her captain and his first officer from acting like lovesick fools in public.

This devious punishment involved Enterprise hosting a diplomatic dinner for the parties involved in the "nerve pinch diplomacy incident". Admiral Pike told Jim and Spock that they were to do this to make up for what really happened on the planet. She was pretty sure she was the only one who could see through that smile on the admiral's lips.

She knew something was up as soon as several representatives from the planet showed up a day early to prepare for the "dinner". Even though Enterprise has only done a few of these dinners before, most of the preparations were done in house. If so much preparation was required by the delegation, why was the reception not occurring on their planet? That would be more practical. After the fact, she realized there was more potential for pure humiliation if this reception took place on ship. Who knew Admiral Pike was so devious?

The second thing that told her something unusual was going on was those preparing for the reception were referring to it as a festival. She ignored this usage of the term until they begin bringing up or replicating statues of the locals engaging in various sex acts to scatter throughout the officer's dining lounge, which was where the reception took place.

She assumed that this was their cultural equivalent of a fertility statue or art. At the head table there was a statue that looks suspiciously like her captain and ex boyfriend engaging in what she thought they did in the conference room that resulted in this punishment in the first place. Even in stone, she can recognize those pointy ears.

Because this whole thing took place before the incident at Starbase 26, she wasn't sure that they were sleeping together yet. She now knows she was right all along. Too bad she did not put money on it.

At the time, she tried to tell herself that this really meant nothing because procreation has very high places in the society of their host. After being told about the initial nerve pinch diplomatic incident she went back and reviewed all the material involving all the cultures involved with that particular situation. Marriage and procreation in all its many forms is the most important part of their culture. Their general greeting involves the touching of reproductive organs because this is seen as a blessing for a long and productive life with many children by whatever means necessary.

She tried to tell herself that the menu contains local foods that are known aphrodisiacs, really didn't mean anything because that was just part of their culture. The fact that the reception area was covered with flowers didn't mean anything because it was part of their culture.

The fact that the guests of honor, Jim and Spock, had to wear white ceremonial robes for the entire reception didn't seem peculiar because it was part of the local culture. She kept telling herself this even after she found out the color had the same association with weddings as it did with certain cultures on earth. Maybe she was just as delusional as her two commanding officers.

It wasn't until Dr. McCoy was brought in to make sure none of the local delicacies would cause their captain's throat to close up, she came out of denial herself. The doctor made some comment to the staff about this looking more like a wedding reception than a diplomatic reception. When several of the outside workers gave him the "yes, it's a wedding you idiot" look, her mind couldn't stay in denial any longer.

In gratitude for the successful negotiations and to show no hard feelings in regards to Spock nerve pitching one of their diplomats, they wanted to do something for Jim and Spock. They actually told Pike they never saw anybody so protective of their lover before. She wondered if the admiral was able to keep a straight face when he was told this.

Normally this was not necessary but Admiral Pike saw an opportunity. He told the representative that because of their busy schedule with Starfleet, Jim and Spock never got to have a wedding reception. The representatives were happy to hold such a reception for two people who loved each other so much. It turns out the so called diplomatic reception was a reception for a wedding that hasn't occurred yet and the guests of honor had no clue.

She probably should not have told them what they were walking into. They deserve this punishment for numerous reasons beyond both of their serious breaches of diplomatic decorum and stupidity. She had to watch the two engage in Vulcan oral sex in front of her before the breakup. She deserved to watch them squirm for a few hours. She loved them both (platonically), but she deserves some payback.

As a Starfleet professional, she knew that it was important for the captain and the commander to have as much information as possible before going into any situation. This was no exception. This big "wedding reception" would be overflowing with diplomats. Therefore she put her personal feelings aside and told her captain and his first officer everything that was about to happen.

To say there were shock would be an understatement. Spock's response was, "I still do not understand the complexities of human practical jokes." Of course, when Spock said this he had one eyebrow raised 2.6 MM and a slight almost invisible frown on his lips. That response caused Jim to roll his eyes.

"This is not a joke Spock. This is a punishment. I don't know why they're so upset about me punching out that particular ambassador's aid. The guy was an absolute dick. Ambassador Spock was ready to punch the guy out himself after what he said about Amanda."

"Yes, but fortunately my counterpart has more self control than you." Spock said this with an almost Vulcan eye roll.

"If you're such a model of Vulcan self control, why did you attack Schreck? I thought you like my lack of self control." Jim asked the question before she could.

"I was sure he met only in the bedroom." She said under her breath. She looked over at Spock to discover that Vulcans do blush in public.

"Was I not supposed to mention that particular elephant in the room? Despite what you tell me, I have a pretty good idea what happened in that conference room a few weeks ago. Starfleet is practically throwing you a wedding reception. I'm not going to fall apart now that you're together. Stop lying to yourself. Even the aliens see it."

She left before Spock made some comment/joke about the lack of elephants in the room. Who is he fooling with that "I'm just a poor Vulcan who doesn't understand human colloquialisms" routine?

Too bad Admiral Pike was unable to witness the brilliance of his punishment in person. The entire thing was an exercise in humiliation and discomfort. Prior knowledge of what was going to happen did not make the "marriage festival" any less uncomfortable for the two victims. Jim and Spock acted the part of the happy couple perfectly. Then again it wasn't acting.

She sent Admiral Pike wonderful shots of Dr. McCoy almost fainting in shock when he first saw the two acting like newlyweds. She also had to listen to him rant for 20 minutes on how illogical it was for aliens to believe that Jim and Spock were married.

She was able to disprove every single one of his arguments without much effort. Her favorite of his arguments for the improbability of Jim and Spock being married was "most married people don't argue like they do until after the divorce."

She almost made some comment about the sex being really intense after the arguing, but she wasn't quite in a place yet where she could make sex jokes about her ex boyfriend and his new significant other. As soon as she had a nice random hook up with no strings attached, she can joke about her ex boyfriend having rough sex with his new boyfriend.

Instead, she suggested that the doctor review any files he had on Vulcan anatomy and the sensitivity of their hands as she pointed to the oblivious couple. Jim and Spock were up front taking part in the ceremonial feeding of the cake.

At that moment she captured a picture of Jim's sucking chocolate icing off Spock's fingers in a room filled with dignitaries and crewmembers. The scene was interrupted by Dr. McCoy collapsing to the floor. Apparently, he remembers that aspect of Vulcan anatomy.

A few weeks after they finally told her that they were sleeping together without emotions being involved she asks Jim if they completed the ceremonial fertility rights after the reception. He answers yes and then gives her a week of gamma shift. Just for that, she decided not to tell him that he and Spock may be legally married now.

At first the crew thought it was a massive joke but they didn't say anything while their guests were aboard. Most people started to come out of their delusion when they saw Jim sucking on Spock's finger at the "fake" wedding reception. For weeks after this incident they received tons of wedding gifts from the crew for their "fake" wedding.

After recent incidents where she's almost positive she saw her captain and his first officer communicate telepathically she starts researching Vulcan bonds, especially marriage bonds. She concentrates mostly on the concept of accidental bonding. She is starting to wonder if they were married in the Vulcan way and didn't even know it. It wouldn't surprise her if they were.

* * *

Although there fearless leaders were still living in denial land to some degree, the main bridge crew were now all aware of the true relationship between captain and first officer. This is mostly because of their lack of discretion.

After Brittany was reassigned to the USS OBAMA, Sulu and Chekov took over Brittany's "when will they get together" Pool. (They may have been present during the Jim versus his mom showdown at Starbase 26.)

Both men have large amounts of credits on Jim and Spock accidentally getting married during a mission. She's not going to tell them that may have already happened.

She currently has 300 credits on the two being married/bonded before there one year anniversary of becoming captain and first officer of the Enterprise. Technically she may have already won, but it doesn't count in her mind until the two men in question recognize it. She deserves to win after what those two have put her through this year. No one deserves the money more than she does.

After his harsh wakeup call at the pseudo wedding reception, Dr. McCoy refuses to eat lunch any more with Jim and Spock because he says too much "teenager in love" behavior is bad for his health. He also made some snide comment about Jim needing to review certain files on Vulcan biology if he thinks there is nothing wrong with the way he touches Spock's hands when they're both looking at the same PADD.

He currently has 100 credits on Jim and Spock getting married due to an "unspecified medical emergency". (She's pretty sure the "unspecified medical emergency" the doctor is referring to is pon farr. Shockingly enough Spock's father felt it was best for Dr. McCoy to know about that specific aspect of Vulcan biology due to a recent rash of individuals going into pon farr out of cycle and prematurely on the colony. From what she gathered this was a major cultural taboo.)

Two weeks ago before the most recent mission that truly ended almost everyone's denial, Jim and Spock invited Scotty to eat lunch with the three of them. She is almost positive this was part of their latest effort to either get her more friends or a boyfriend. They did not need her there to discuss that particular aspect of warp mechanics.

Although it did not work the way Jim and Spock expected it to, she did enjoy Scotty's comments about the fact he could not wait to modify Jim and Spock's quarters into a single dual occupancy unit. She enjoyed the look of pure shock on both men's faces when Scotty actually brought out the blueprints. It was even funnier when Scotty mentioned he had 200 credits on the two being married by the end of the second year of the mission. She managed to get a very rare picture of a visibly shocked Spock.

* * *

That evening Jim got her alone under the pretext of talking about the next mission where she will be a member of the negotiating team, as well as, trying to get her to sign up for the command retraining program. This program was designed to help fill the gap caused by losing almost an entire class of command track graduates. The program's purpose was to allow Starfleet officers that have already graduated to retrain for command by entering into an apprenticeship program on their ship combined with a long distance learning program.

After going over every detail that they were aware of and her suffering through a 20 minute speech on why he believe she should retrain for the command track, Jim confronted her on the fact she told someone about his and Spock's sexual relationship when they specifically asked her not to. He purposely stressed the just sex part of their relationship. She tried not to laugh. Jim was her friend and superior officer. It would be inappropriate to laugh at his denial.

She then proceeded to tell her captain that she did no such thing. Of course, this is after she reminded her captain there was no way they can just be friends having sex, when he and Spock almost shared the same brain. She decided not to mention the fact that they may be married on at least four planets including new Vulcan because she was almost sure they were bonded. (During a recent red alert situation she is almost positive she saw them communicating the entire time mentally.)

"I don't have to tell anybody Jim. Everybody knows." She then proceeded to remind him that during the red alert three days ago, six separate crewmembers, including herself, saw him and Spock leave his quarters together. She also reminded him that everybody's saw him putting his shirt back on as he was running up to the bridge to deal with the crisis.

His response to her accusations was, "We were in the middle of a crisis. I seriously doubt people had time to gossip about my love life when the ship was being fired at."

"Do you realize that you just said "love life"?" He didn't even look at her as she pointed out his Freudian slip.

"If you do not want people to know that you are completely head over heels in love with Spock, you need to stop being so obvious. Everybody sees it. For example, stop feeling up his hands when he passes you a PADD on the bridge. Stop finishing each other's sentences during staff meetings or during negotiations. Do not eat off his plate during diplomatic receptions. You seriously need to stop sucking on his fingers in public, especially when I am present. What you did at the "fake" wedding reception is why most of the crew thinks you two are together. That is a bedroom activity along with back rubs. Please stop asking him to give you back rubs on the bridge, we all know your back doesn't hurt that much."

"Is it okay if I suck on his fingers in front of you when it's just the three of us? If you wanted to join in I would be perfectly OK with it." She could not help but glare at him. He really needs to stop using humor and sexual bravado to cover up his insecurities.

"If I hit you now, will you charge me with insubordination?"

"If this were happening in an official capacity this entire conversation would be insubordination and possibly sexual harassment. We're not captain and chief communications officer right now. We're just two friends having a conversation."

"We're just two friends having a conversation about the way you make it so obvious that you and Spock are together "in the happily ever after, they love each other" way. If you don't want everyone to know that's fine. You're entitled to as much privacy as anyone else. It would be nice if you would at least admit it to yourself and maybe me that you're in love with him. As long as you know what's going on that's fine. However, if you don't want everybody to know you need to stop being so obvious. Other dead giveaways include contacting him every 3 minutes to see if he's OK when Spock leads the away team alone to research a new planet."

"I do not contact him every 3 minutes." That caused her to give him the icy glare of death.

"Yes, you do. Do you need to see the logs? You do the same thing if you are on the bridge and he is in the lab."

"I just try to be a good captain." This triggered another eye roll from her.

"If Spock did not love you, he would have strangled you again by now." A wicked grin came over her captain's face a as she said the words. This either indicated that he knew Spock really did love him or erotic asphyxiation was a part of their bedroom repertoire.

"Do not tell me if he does strangle you during "boyfriend private time". I personally do not want to know details about your bedroom activities with my ex. In addition, if you don't want everyone else to know what you and him do during private time, stop letting him bite you on the neck during sex. This is a dead giveaway to everyone." She said this as she placed one finger on the bite mark at the back of her captain's neck.

She then had to sit through 15 minutes of her captain defending his behavior. She did concede to his point that it was impossible to get Spock to stop biting during sex. Unfortunately, her captain didn't have long hair to hide those times when Spock slipped up. Vulcan superior control does not transferred to the bedroom.

It really wasn't as awkward as she thought it would be to compare sex stories about her ex boyfriend with his current boyfriend. Although it may have been a little surreal for her to realize she truly got to this point of acceptance.

Jim also spent another 15 minutes trying to convince her to apply to the command retraining program. For some reason he was convinced she would make a good captain someday. She wasn't sure yet.

* * *

For the first few days after their conversation, Jim made his affection for Spock less obvious. There was no "accidental" hand touching or eye sex on the bridge. For the first time in almost a year, Jim had lunch by himself when he and Spock had the same shift.

Things were relatively peaceful because they were traveling to negotiations for entry of a new planet into the Federation. Therefore, everybody noticed the change in behavior. So much so that six different crewmembers asked her if Jim and Spock broke up. It probably didn't help that Spock was more agitated than usual. He actually yelled at somebody in a very Spock way. Then again, she would yell too if somebody hit on her when it was obvious she was in a relationship with someone else.

Most of the people who asked her if they broke up were interested in being with Jim or Spock. Her only response to these individuals was to laugh. Fortunately, for everybody involved, Jim finally discovered a balance between acting like a professional in love and being a lovesick teenager about 6 hours before they reach their destination.

* * *

This mission was the mission that got everybody but the happy couple out of denial land. In the almost year that she's been on the ship, it amazes her the number of things that go wrong on a mission. This time she got to see the chaos first hand. Later on, she would learn that this mission was supposed to go wrong.

For some reason the leaders of this planet would only work with teams of three and one of the members must be female. According to her commanding officers and the Admiralty, she was the logical choice to accompany Jim and Spock for the negotiations.

As usual, things go completely wrong when they get to the planet due to somebody being an idiot at Starfleet. Somebody left out a very important section on negotiation protocol from their briefing Materials. On this particular planet during negotiations, two members of the party must partake in the ceremonial joining as the third member negotiates with the leaders. She now knows that the joining ceremony is a cross between a wedding ceremony and a sex marathon fueled by several aphrodisiacs. However, the local inhabitants see this as a gesture of goodwill and trust.

When this is explained to her, Jim, and Spock by the assistant assigned to help them she is absolutely furious. This is after the aid tells her that she and Spock will be sharing a room. At this, point none of them really know what the joining ceremony truly involves and she just asked if it is okay for her and Jim just switch rooms. The fertility statues in the suite are a dead giveaway that this situation was going to get very complicated.

As the aid finally tells them what the joining ceremony really is, she is pretty sure why it was suggested that she be part of the team for this mission by the admiral filling in for Pike during a family emergency. She sure they assumed she and Spock would do the joining part of the ceremony as the Captain led the actual negotiations with the leaders.

She knows by the shocked expressions on both of their faces they were hearing about this joining ceremony for the first time. Yes, Spock was visibly upset. Wouldn't you be if you found out you had to sleep with your ex girlfriend when you were with someone else? She knew that they were secretly planning to get back at the person responsible for giving Enterprise this mission.

She was willing to have sex with her ex boyfriend not only to secure the planets entry into the Federation but also access to a plant that can cure almost any sexually transmitted infection imaginable. The fact that he was in a relationship was someone else did make her uncomfortable. Jim told her when they were alone that if it were the only option he would be okay with her sleeping with his boyfriend. He also says something about wanting a video file of the entire encounter. That earned him a slap and a very angry glare.

They also agreed that nobody outside of the three of them would ever know what the joining ceremony really was. This situation was going to be too personally humiliating to put in a report without severe editing. This meant not telling the security detail with them what was really going on. This will prove to be a mistake later on.

Fortunately, the leaders of the planet recognize that Jim and Spock are a couple instantly. They were so happy that the federation sent a true couple to participate in the joining ceremony that would symbolize the joining between the planet and the Federation. The priestess said she was happy to join two people together who were already connected so deeply. She refers to Jim and Spock by a local word that in standard meant two halves of the same soul.

The joining rights were performed during the opening ceremony of the negotiations. The ceremony had certain elements similar to weddings on earth. For example, the two parties must light a candle together at some point during the ceremony and there is a ceremonial breaking of the glass at the end. Jim and Spock also had to drink from the ceremonial cup of joining. Later on, she will discover that this contains a natural substance that could cure certain sexual disorders better than any substance that the Federation already has.

Before the drugs could take effect Jim and Spock were taken away to the ceremonial room of joining as she is left behind to do the majority of the negotiations. She told the security team that Jim and Spock were going to another meeting. No one on the security team was familiar enough with the local language to pick up on the fact that Jim and Spock were really going off to have sex. She purposely reprogrammed the universal translators that everyone else was using to incorrectly translate the words. Even with everything that went wrong, she is positive this will be Jim's favorite mission ever.

The negotiations for inclusion into the Federation went well. She noticed that things with a lot more smoothly because she as the lead negotiator spoke the local language perfectly without the aid of a translator electronic or otherwise. Finally the leaders agreed to sign the treaty as soon as the other two completed their role in the negotiations. Knowing those two, it could be hours even without the drugs.

Unfortunately for her, the members of the security team that came down with the three of them started to get worried about the fact Jim and Spock were missing from the negotiations. "Lieutenant Cupcake", as Jim refers to him, was worried that the people may have taken Jim and Spock prisoner. In an effort to pacify him, their assigned aid agreed to show him that Jim and Spock were perfectly fine. That was a mistake.

She caught up with him and the aid just in time to see him open the door to the ceremonial room of joining. From the doorway, she could see the two completely naked men so lost in each other that they didn't even realize the door was open. She saw a fusion of lips and bodies.

It wasn't the first time she walked in on two or more people having sex. She had Gaila as a roommate. Eventually she got used to it. She even found her future captain under her roommate's bed only wearing boxer shorts.

This was different. In the seconds it took her to react, she could see this isn't just sex, rather as the priestess said there was a joining of two essences that belong together all along. Letting go was the right decision.

She quickly closed the door and started yelling at the aid, in the most diplomatic way possible, for showing the security team to Jim and Spock when she knew exactly what they were doing. In this culture, walking in on somebody during sex was not a taboo.

She may be okay with Jim and Spock being together, but she is sure that Jim and Spock did not want the entire ship to know what was really going on. Thanks to this, everyone now knows.

Once they got back to the ship after the treaties were signed "lieutenant Cupcake" who absolutely hates Jim decides to tell the Admiralty that Jim and Spock were having sex when they were supposed to be on duty. Of course, this is after he repeats that piece of information around the entire ship. Spock and Jim were currently keeping their distance from each other for the sake of damage control. They shouldn't have to.

She is still trying to repress a very uncomfortable meeting a few days ago where she tries to explain the importance the planet puts on the joining ritual during negotiations. Considering the expression on their substitute admiral's face it is obvious she knows exactly what the joining ritual was and probably knew all about it before assigning Enterprise to the mission. The shock on the woman's face when she found out they successfully negotiated the treaty was even more profound. It was almost as if she was expecting them to be unable to negotiate the treaty and secure the planet's entry into the Federation. She's personally upset that she had to describe walking in on her ex boyfriend and captain having sex in an official report.

When admiral Pike finally got back and read the report of the entire successful, but humiliating mission he was furious. He instantly realizes that the entire mission was a setup created by certain members of the Admiralty who despise Jim for being the youngest captain and one of the more competent captain's during his first year. He was livid when he contacted the ship now on its way back to earth for several ceremonies marking the one your anniversary of the deaths of 80% of their class along with the majority of an entire species.

She was called into the meeting half way through. Jim already looked visibly upset. The admiral told the three of them that mission should have gone to the OBAMA or any other ship with a married command team. When he said the name of that ship she picked up on discomfort from both her captain and admiral. Sending a fake couple to the planet would have at the very least resulted in the treaty never being signed.

Admiral Pike was the only member of the Admiralty who really knew that Jim and Spock were together. He stressed how lucky they were that Jim and Spock were together and she was a very good negotiator. She would be receiving a commendation for her role in negotiating the treaty and securing the planet's inclusion into the Federation. He tried to convince her to join the command retraining program like Jim did a few days earlier.

After the admiral dismisses Jim and Spock he asked her to stay behind to deliver her state of the relationship report. She was happy that today Jim referred to Spock as his boyfriend. She saw this as progress. Unfortunately, they were out of time.

"I have been trying to convince the other admirals that Captain Kirk and Commander Spock are more effective when together. The fact that they were both willing to go through the ceremony as originally intended shows that they are both willing to put the needs of the Federation above their own personal concerns. Unfortunately, the others don't see it that way. In light of his exceptional service, on the one year anniversary of the battle of Vulcan, Spock will be given his own ship when the Enterprise returns to earth. They are planning on giving him the OBAMA."

She felt the air go out of her lungs as he said this. She was angry that she was losing her best friend. Jim would be devastated. It was obvious that both men already knew. Jim almost looked ready to cry when she walked into the room, but he covered it up quickly.

"Can't Spock just decline like last time?"

"The situation is more critical now. Yesterday Captain Evelyn Thompson died in the line of duty in order to protect several members of her crew including her husband and daughter."

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**A/N: If anybody wants to write out Jim or Spock's perspective during the joining ceremony or the conference room incident contact me. I don't like writing explicit sex scenes at all, which is why I like doing this story from an outsider perspective. However if someone else wants to write it, I will be happy to serve as your beta/co-writer.**


	10. Sign 10A:I Will Fight For You

Thank you to everyone who read or reviewed the last chapter. I'm very surprised I got this up so fast.

For narrative purposes, I chose to write chapter 10 of this story before posting chapter nine of the companion story. This is also the first time I am dividing a sign into two chapters.

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Sign 10: I Will Fight For You: Part One

The last day aboard the USS enterprise was painful. The atmosphere was beyond tens on the bridge and everyone knew why. She wasn't sure how it happened, but half the ship already knew about the unfortunate demise of Captain Thompson and what it meant for their command team.

Spock was actually agitated. That in itself was a dead giveaway. He actually snapped at her when she tried to talk to him about it.

Jim looked absolutely miserable. His assistant of the week made a comment about his puppy dying. Those who did not know that Starfleet was forcing Spock to leave just assumed he was upset about the death of someone he knew.

His eyes looked dead. Those pools of blue seemed lifeless. Gone was the love and happiness that shined through so vividly every time Spock was in the room.

It was almost like he was resigned to the fact that Spock was leaving. It was like he believed there was nothing he could do to change this. This wasn't right. Jim Kirk did not believe and no wins scenarios. If he did, there would not be an Earth right now.

She couldn't let this happen. It was time for drastic measures.

At 4:00 AM in the morning with the help of a special program created by a friend who is currently going through her own misery she broke into her captain's quarters. This was a conversation that must occur in private.

Instead of being asleep in bed or doing certain things she did not want to think about to his boyfriend while he still could, he was sitting at the table looking at old pictures on a PADD. He seemed to be beyond miserable. She doubted that he slept at all. On the screen was a much younger Evelyn Thompson kissing her husband as a young Jim and Brittany made gagging expressions in the foreground.

"You know normal people use the door chime. Then again normal people wouldn't be here at 4:00 AM."

"If I were normal, you would not want me on your crew." She said taking the seat beside him.

"That's true." He said in an undertone as he kept looking at the images on the PADD. This time he was staring at a shot that she got of him and Spock at the pseudo wedding reception during the cake ceremony. Even though it was a public relations nightmare, he seemed so happy. She wished they could go back to that happy moment months earlier.

"Why are you giving up?" She finally asked after several minutes of silence.

"What are you talking about?

"You are sitting in your quarters at 4:00 AM almost crying over old photographs. You are letting him leave."

"It is his choice. He deserves this position."

"Except it's not his choice. He already turned down their offer to have his own ship on more than one occasion. They are forcing him to take this position and he will accept it because he is a good little soldier. We both know he doesn't want to leave you." She purposely did not say Enterprise. "I know he really cares about you. Just like I know you really care about him. You would not be this miserable otherwise."

"Maybe I am miserable for other reasons. Someone I have known since I was a child just died, even though I didn't like her because she was an absolute bitch to her daughter. Maybe that is why I'm so upset. I talked to Brittany."

"Is she okay?" She knew it was a stupid question as soon as she asked it.

"Not at all. Her father is worse. He doesn't believe it's real even though he was there. I am not sure if I could deal with it if I had to watch the person I love the most be murdered in front of me. He loved her so much. He is so lost. Maybe this is why I am miserable. Maybe I'm not upset because someone I love is getting assigned to another ship and away from me. I don't love him. I can't love him." She wondered if those words were more for his benefit than hers.

"I didn't say the word love, you did." She said pointing out his slip up. "As much as you pretend that you and Spock have just been sleeping together for these last four months without any emotions involved, love has been there from the beginning."

"Actually it's been five."He says quietly. She did the calculations quickly in her head and realizes they have been together since she and Spock broke up. She stayed quiet on the fact, realizing it wasn't the time to ask questions. Another part of her really didn't want to know the answer.

"How can you know that it is love?" Her response is to laugh as she pulled up a file that she has been working on for months. She pushes the PADD in his hand and she hears a laugh. Maybe that is a good sign.

"10 Signs Your Captain Is More than Just Attracted to Your Boyfriend," He said reading the title aloud. "When did you have time to do this? Why did you come up with this? Nothing happened before the breakup." Did he not remember the VBJ the day before the breakup or all the hand sex on the bridge? She did.

"You mean by human standards. You manage to get to Vulcan third base in a family restaurant before I broke up with Spock."

"Spock goes by more humans standards of sexuality, so it doesn't count. Any way, you do remember giving your boyfriend to me the day before?"

"I don't hold myself accountable for anything that occurred during the truth tea incident. I started working on this when I first noticed what was going on many months ago before Spock and I broke up. It was my sanity project, one of them anyway. That still doesn't mean that what I saw wasn't true. I probably should re title this _10 Signs Your Captain Is In Love with His First Officer_."

"I'm not so sure about that. Sign number two is definitely not true. I did not use paper work as an excuse to spend time with him. This was my first time serving as captain and I was not used to doing that type of paperwork. I needed the help of my more experienced first officer." She just rolled her eyes.

"That's a lie. You made all sorts of excuses to spend time with Spock in the beginning. Stalling paperwork was just your favorite technique early on until he started teaching you how to play chess. Why aren't you arguing against sign number one?"

"That one is true. Maybe in the beginning I did flirt with him to get a response, but that doesn't mean anything. It does not mean I love him. He is hot. I flirt with everyone, especially in the first few weeks before I got sick of dealing with crazy crew members throwing themselves at me."

If anyone else made that statement she would blame it on his or her unusually large ego, however, what Jim said was true. Crew members of all genders, constantly threw themselves at him despite certain Starfleet policies that make such actions inappropriate. They were also not deterred by an irritated Spock.

"You did not flirt with Spock like you flirted with everyone else. With everyone it was just a natural response. It is just a part of your persona. You said it yourself, you were trying to get a response from him. You desired his attention. Because you flirt with everyone your normal techniques wouldn't work on him. That is why you started arguing with him for no reason about the silliest things. You wanted him to pay attention to you."

"So maybe you're right, but that doesn't mean I love him."

"What about the fact you let him see the real you?

"I never hide who I am from the world."

"Yes you do. Everyone except for a select few see this illusion of Jim Kirk that you have been cultivating for decades. To the world at large you're that "skirt chasing" impulsive dick who does everything without thinking. However, you let Spock see the real James Kirk with mommy issues and all his other emotional baggage. You are actually comfortable showing your intelligence around Spock. He probably knows things about you that Bones doesn't know."

"You may have a point there. He is my best friend. That still doesn't mean that I love him beyond friendship." She felt like he was grasping at straws at this point.

"Sign number four is you desire to get Spock to publicly display how he feels about you. If you didn't love him why would you want him to display his feelings for you?" He stayed quiet for a moment before redirecting her question.

"Maybe the back rub thing wasn't about me wanting to elicit an emotional response from Spock; maybe it was me trying to elicit an emotional response from you. You were so dead back then. I'm surprise you were even aware of what was going on between me and Spock."

"You're right I was numb. Between losing my friends and realizing that Spock and I were drifting apart, I started to shut down. I'm better now. That still does not change what happened that day. You have tried the back rub thing 11 times on the bridge since then, anyway."

"I have to admit getting an emotional response from Spock is fun and challenging, especially when you're trying to get a response from him with activities that don't take place in the bedroom."

"I will concede your point. However, I know you want more than just sex from Spock. You really do care about him. For sign number five, you stayed with me on leave so I wouldn't accidentally break up with him when I was high on truth tea. For sign eight, you lied to the Admiralty on multiple occasions to protect Spock. One of the occasions was right after he tried to kill you on the bridge. You don't risk your career for a cheap fuck. You have already proved that by the fact you haven't slept with anyone else on the crew or the many diplomats that have tried to get with you over the last year. If it was just about sex you would have fucked any one of them. However, you're with Spock."

"He is still my best friend. I do care about him. You heard me tell my mother that. It's not this great love that you keep talking about. I can't let it be that." She noticed his specific choice of words. He specifically said "can't". That means a conscious effort is involved. Jim is purposely not letting himself love Spock because he's afraid. Of what, she is not sure.

"It's love. As much as you try to argue otherwise, you love him. Do you remember how jealous you were of anyone else showing attention to Spock? Even if you didn't realize it yet, you were very jealous when I kiss Spock on the transporter pad that one time in front of you. You would not have been absolutely furious when Spock's father brought other possible suitors for Spock if it was not love."

"I had a right to be upset. The individuals that he brought were horrible. I had way too much fun punching out that dick Schreck. I don't see the point anyway. I would be more than willing to be Spock's pon Farr partner when his time came, even if we were not whatever we are now."

"I know you know more about it than I do, but from what "Grandpa Spock" told me pon farr is an intense experience for the other partner. The fact that you're willing to go through that with him tells me that you love him. You're willing to do anything to keep him alive. It is obvious to everyone that you love him. It's even obvious to you. Why won't you let yourself love him?"

"Because he's leaving me," The words were whispered with a hint of deep sadness. At that moment she finally got it. He was afraid to love him, because he was afraid to lose him.

"He doesn't want to." She said as she took him in her arms.

"But he still is. Everyone leaves eventually. My mom left me behind the moment she found someone else to take care of me. Sam left me as soon as he could. My father left me behind before I was even born." She was about to point out that his father did not leave of his own volition but he stopped her.

"Yes, I know it was not his choice. We're soldiers, even if a good portion of are job is diplomatic relations. There's always a chance that we won't come back from a mission. At least once a week it seems like I'm notifying a parent that their child is not coming back. It is worse when I have to notify a husband or wife that the person they love is not coming back. That look of absolute pain in their eyes is heartbreaking. I've seen grown men break down in tears at the loss of their partner. Maybe I don't want to be one of them. Maybe I don't want to be my mother or First Officer Thompson. Maybe I don't want to be the one who sits on the grave of a dead man who ashes are spread among the stars."

So it's better just to keep everyone at arm's length. If you never love him, then it won't hurt so much if he were to leave you for whatever reason. That is an absolute fucking lie and you know it. You already love him. It's too late."

"I will not confirm nor deny that." He said it in a way that confirmed it."

"Your mom is a bad example, because let's be honest she has issues. Right now even though he just lost his wife, do you think Commander Thompson would trade the years he had with her for anything? If Spock's father was given the chance to relive his life without falling in love with Amanda, do you think he would take it?"

"No they wouldn't. Even though they lost the person they love the most, I know they wouldn't change a thing." He finally admitted quietly.

"There's an old saying, "It is better to have loved and lost, then to never have love at all." You know that's true. Even after death you'll still have your memories to keep you company as you continue on. You can't fight death. Although knowing you, I'm sure you would try. However, we can beat this transfer."

"I've never believed in no win scenarios."

"So why start now. We have exactly 12 days to figure out how to keep your boyfriend on this ship."

"You pull up the regulations and I will go wake up my boyfriend. His perfect memory of all Starfleet regulations should be good for something." As Jim walks next door she entered the final sign into the PADD.

**Sign number 10: He will fight to keep Spock with him.**

Of course, things got more complicated due to a certain biological medical condition and a very stubborn half Vulcan. However, that is another rant for a different list.

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To be continued


	11. Sign 10 B: Always Revised

Thank you to everyone who reviewed or read the last chapter. This is the final chapter of the Jim Kirk edition of 10 Signs. There will be a short epilogue after this that I hope to post next week if I stay on schedule.

Note: This is a slightly revised chapter. I accidentally posted the wrong version last night. I apologize.

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Sign 10 B: I Will Always Fight for You and I Will Always be by Your Side.

Thanks to a certain biological condition they lost about three days of research time. In addition, someone's computer may have been destroyed at some point during the three days before the files were transferred to the main server.

Jim and Spock were too busy engaging in extreme amounts of sex to keep the blood fever away to even think about finding a way to keep Spock from being transferred. Although they may have done something during that time that would make things easier. She will talk about that later.

She was too busy trying to keep the fact that the two most senior officers on the ship were locked in Spock's quarters having sex for medicinal reasons to do any additional research herself. Everyone but Dr. McCoy was told that the two were quarantined after contracting some strange virus that had an unusually long incubation period. Most people did not buy that.

If she did not know better, she would swear that Jim planned to be on "sick leave" just so he would not have to fill out all the paperwork for everyone's shore leave on earth. If he wanted to convince her to retrain for command having her spend 4 hours filling out paperwork every day, was not the way to do it.

She must admit that she enjoyed being in charge. Leadership seemed natural to her. She felt comfortable in the captain's chair.

There were no unusual problems during her tenure as acting captain. She just had to deal with the usual things that every captain has to deal with like crazy crew members wrecking parts of the ship due to boredom or illicit gambling on the personal affairs of their commanding officers. (She may have written up a few people for placing bets on when Jim would finally get his threesome wish with her and Spock.)

She did enjoy writing up lieutenant Cupcake for being his usual asshole self. She has hated the guy ever since he and his friends attacked Jim in an effort to get in her pants. His recent stunt involving her friends and the rumor mill did not endear him to her at all. It turned out Cupcake didn't like Spock that much either because he succeeded in a way Cupcake never could.

The worst thing about the experience was everyone kept asking her what was really going on between Jim and Spock. She kept her mouth shut because it was none of their business. Not that it kept the rumor mill from operating at full capacity.

Also during her tenure as acting captain she had the displeasure of telling Admiral Pike a somewhat edited version of the truth. Fortunately, he was already in her corner and did not ask questions. He promised to send several files pertaining to the situation after he found out that Jim and Spock decided to fight the transfer.

These were the files that she, Jim, and Spock were going over and Jim's quarters. Spock's room was completely trashed after their marathon. They managed to break the bed, the bathroom door, two shelves, the couch, and his desk. She would really like to know how they broke the bathroom door but she is too afraid to ask. Jim said most of the damage occurred before any actual sex occurred. Apparently Jim was a little pissed off that Spock locked him out and was willing to die rather than sleep with Jim because he was afraid to hurt him. (See other rant.)

Something else interesting also happened during the sex marathon. When they emerge from Spock's room three days later they were engaged. She doesn't know all the details but at some point during the three days Jim proposed to Spock. Jim also mentioned that he had to fight the stubborn Vulcan in question to say yes. (She is not sure if he meant that in the figurative or the metaphorical sense.)

No one but she and Dr. McCoy knew about the true change in their relationship. A few like Sulu and Chekov suspected but did not say anything. It was common knowledge already thanks to lieutenant Cupcake that they were sleeping together so the change in Their behavior was not noticeable.

On the bridge earlier today, they were as professional as ever. Actually Jim was more professional. The eye sex and Vulcan make out sessions have completely disappeared from the bridge. Thinking about it now maybe Jim's obvious "teenager in love" behavior was is way of fighting back anybody who tried to get with his Vulcan.

Despite the possibility that they might be split up she was happy that the denial was over. She was even happier that they were planning to spend the rest of their life together. It didn't bother her to see them kiss in front of her right now. They were right for each other in a way that she and Spock never were.

She and Spock were only supposed to be friends. He was her best friend. They were never meant to be more than that. She understands that now. This is why she was spending her free time helping her two best friends figure out how to stay together.

Jim is supposed to be Spock's everything. It is obvious to her that Jim would do anything to keep Spock with him. He already survived the brutality of Pon Farr and Spock's stubbornness. What was taking on the Admiralty in the grand scheme of things?

Because they were already engaged the research focused on tandem assignments. On the side, she contacted her friend Leslie in the Starfleet legal office to see if any of the wedding ceremonies were legally binding by Starfleet standards. She was still waiting to hear back from her.

Currently she was sitting on Jim's couch going over all the files pertaining to a lawsuit that Brittany's parents filed against Starfleet around 13 years ago when they tried to split up the pair during a supposed crisis. Jim and Spock were lying in the bed completely entwined with one another with PADDs in their hands researching. Jim had his head Up on Spock's chest with their fingers laced together. It was too cute.

"Marry me," Jim said in a way that startled her out of her research.

"I do not see the logic in you asking me that question again when I have already said yes."

"I mean right now." He said as he kissed Spock in a way that made her a little uncomfortable. She was very close to asking if she should leave the room for a little while. One would think after three days Jim Kirk would be sated for at least a few days.

"I do not see how that is possible T'hy'la when you are the only person on this ship who has the authority to perform a marriage and you are unable to perform your own ceremony."

"I meant as soon as we get to earth. We'll be back in San Francisco tomorrow. We'll have a better chance of fighting the transfer if we are actually married. I just read through six cases where they split up engaged couples."

"I read through those files too. There were extenuating circumstances in at least three of those cases. Also two of those incidents took place before the Thompson Amendments to Starfleet's personnel policies." She said looking up from her own PADD trying to sound cheery.

As they continued to do research, they realize the situation was bleaker than they originally thought. Being in a committed relationship did not necessarily mean tandem assignments. There was an exception to the tandem assignments policy that allowed Starfleet to assign married couples to separate assignments during times of war or during crisis situations when it was in the federation's best interests to split up a couple.

The only good thing was the definition of a crisis was adjusted in 2246 as part of the Thompson amendments to Starfleet's regulations regarding families and couples. Before then various policies including those that regulated dating between crewmembers made Starfleet a family unfriendly place even if the enforcement of such policies were random at best.

"The crisis exception was in effect at the time that meant that niceties such as joint assignments for engaged or married couples get thrown out a window. No, nothing was actually thrown out of the window. What's the point of playing stupid in regards to human vernacular? You have spent years are round humans. I know you do this stuff on purpose."

"I do not know what you are referring to T'hy'la."

"Sure you don't know what I'm referring to. I just think it would be easier if we were already married. The current command shortage is a serious problem. Even under the Thompson amendments, we could still be split up. However precedent would be in our favor if we were already married."

"I will not leave you. If you wish to get married right away we will." She heard Spock whisper as he kissed Jim again. She was just glad Spock chose not to mention that they needed to be married before the orders were issued for Spock's transfer for the rules to be applicable to the situation. She wondered if this was a good time to tell them that they were already married. It would be best to wait until she knew if the marriage was binding under Starfleet policy.

She went back to reviewing the lawsuit filed in early 2246 against Starfleet filed by then Commander Thompson and her husband Lieutenant Commander Thompson as the oblivious couple went back to groping each other. The settlement reached regarding this lawsuit was responsible for the personnel changes referred to as the Thompson Amendments.

In 2245 during a "crisis situation" Starfleet in their infinite wisdom assigned the couple to two separate ships as First Officers claiming it was in Starfleet's best interest. They also ship their children off to separate parts of the galaxy saying it would be in the best interest of the children to not grow up on ships of war.

According to the file, Brittany's brother who was only four at the time ended up on earth with family. Brittany's location was redacted from the file. When she asked Jim about it, he became really quiet and Spock gave her a look that told her not to ask any more questions.

The lawsuit was settled out of court two months later when Commander Thompson became Captain Thompson and the entire family was reunited on board the USS OBAMA. The entire incident resulted in the regulations involving families, interpersonal relationships between crewmembers, and tandem assignments to be completely rewritten. Enforcement of the rules on the book became more universal supposedly. Most importantly the true definition of a crisis situation when the tandem assignments rule can be suspended was established.

The federation was still in a crisis situation 12 months after the destruction of Vulcan. The command shortage wasn't the only problem. The federation was still in a very fragile state. Some planets left the Federation because they felt the organization could no longer offer true protection. Various adversaries also believe the Federation was weaker. Technically the Federation was not at war, but casualties were high for ships that were supposedly on peacekeeping missions.

As she read the file, she relies that something else was missing besides Brittany's whereabouts during that time. "Why were the Thompsons split up in the first place? There's nothing in here about that." She asked out loud breaking the two out of whatever they were doing.

"Starfleet said it was in the best interest of the organization for the two to serve on separate ships. That was the same justification they gave when they shipped off Brittany and her brother to separate parts of the galaxy. At least now an extreme shortage of captain's is a buyable excuse." "

"That doesn't make sense. Your mom was pregnant with you in space. Even prior to the amendments Starfleet did not split up family is that way unless there's an actual war going on. Something's missing." She said aloud.

"I always knew you were a genius. Evelyn Thompson was not very well liked for reasons other than her personality. She was a good captain. She was an excellent negotiator. No one was shocked that she gave up her life to protect her crew."

"She's basically you but more likable."

"Yes. Just like me she had her own "we hate you" club. She was a super genius who graduated from the academy at 18. She was a full lieutenant before she was even old enough to drink. She still holds the record for youngest female captain. Although you have several years to break that yourself." She rolled her eyes when he said that.

"We are having a serious conversation about trying to keep you two on the same ship and you decide to use this as a opportunity to get me to sign up for the program again?"

"I'm a multitasker." Jim said with a smile

"I'm aware." Spock said sharply before Jim continued.

"What's not in the file is that before the transfer she was already being considered her to receive her own ship. Certain people were not happy about that including one admiral in particular. He was convinced that she was given preferential treatment for various reasons. He was also upset that Starfleet look the other way when the Thompsons got married. One admiral in particular thought she was riding her husband's coattails. He was one of these people who was born 300 years too late and still believed a woman's place was in the home. He thought if you split one of the most effective teams in Starfleet up she would fall flat on her ass. Instead she thrived under pressure and sued Starfleet's ass off."

"Why didn't this part of the story make the media?"

"Nobody paid attention to the fallout because they were too busy being outraged by an easily preventable tragedy halfway across the galaxy on Tarsus IV." He said cryptically with anger in his voice.

"The split was political." She heard Spock say as more of a statement than a question.

"Considering you grew up as the son of a diplomat, you should be well aware that everything is political, especially in Starfleet. I spent too much of my childhood being paraded in front of cameras during Kelvin anniversary ceremonies to think otherwise. I'm not egotistical enough to think my appointment to captain at 25 was solely based on my awesome captain skills. During the last year, half of our missions have been specifically designed to improve Starfleet image. They needed to distract the galaxy from the ugly truth. Starfleet had 25 years to find the Narada and never did. They assume that no one will ask questions when they are projecting the image of the guy who saved earth who just happened to be the son of a dead war hero. The fact that the other guy who helped saved earth is happens to be Vulcan was just a bonus." Jim said as he began to play with Spock's ears.

"Will you please cease touching my ears when we are having a serious conversation?"

"You love it when I touch you there." Jim said as he ran one finger across the shell of Spock's years. This caused her to throw one of the pillows on the couch at the couple.

"As much as I enjoy watching you two making out and not denying it, if you too want to be able to do this six months from now we need to focus. If every decision in Starfleet is politically motivated, why are they doing this now?"

"That's obvious. Others could be promoted to captain or first officer. They need to show the federation at large that despite the decimation of their planet and almost 99% of their total population, the Vulcan people are still doing fine. What better way to do that than appointing Starfleet's first Vulcan captain and assigning him to a ship named after the United States very first president of African ancestry? I don't understand why they didn't try it last year."

Apparently it is a lot harder for Spock to keep something from Jim then it was from her. It turns out the conversation she overheard a few months ago wasn't the first time Spock was offered his own ship.

They did offer him his own ship last year in hopes of keeping him in Starfleet when Spock was considering going to the colony. Starfleet was so desperate to keep him that they were willing to make him captain. It didn't work. Although a suggestion from a certain other self did.

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It wasn't until they reached the earth a day ago that she discovered the real reason why they were forcing Spock to leave the Enterprise. Apparently Jim had more in common with the late Captain Thompson then he thought.

Starfleet was inundated with reporters presently. This time they were not easily distracted by the festivities to commemorate the thousands of cadets who lost their lives almost a year ago. Normally the death of a captain in the line of duty would be something that would be forgotten about as soon as the court martial hearings were over with. This time the reporters smell blood in the water.

The OBAMA should have gone on the Enterprise's last major mission. She does not mean that the OBAMA was more suited for that particular mission, but rather the ship was originally assigned to that mission.

A certain reporter who was a hacker in a former life discovered an internal memorandum stating that the OBAMA should have handled that mission. The Enterprise had more advanced weapons and was more used to the type of missions that led to the death of Captain Evelyn Thompson.

She knew that the joining ceremony mission was a setup for a while. She did not know how bad of a set up it was until the three of them met with Admiral Pike and her friend from Starfleet legal today.

"Are you really telling me that the three of us would have been dead by now if Jim and Spock were not a real couple?" She said still in shock.

"That's exactly what I'm saying. Sending a fake couple to the planet would have been a direct violation of the preliminary agreement reached earlier. According to their local custom they would have been in their rights to execute the impostors. We are not sure if the person who switched the assignment was aware of that fact sense it is quite obscure. Maybe they just assumed that you would fail miserably and they would have a justifiable reason to take your commission away from you." Pike said solemnly.

"It's possible. They were unaware that Spock and I were really a couple. However, I doubt the person is that innocent."

"You and Spock were unaware that you were a couple at the time." She said taking a large drink of the alcohol provided earlier.

"If the person was aware they probably assumed that Spock would follow the regulations regarding first officers and captains not going on away missions together."

"This person really doesn't know us at all. So which member of the Admiralty set us up?"Jim said with a hint of anger.

"We're not sure yet." Leslie said. "The investigation is still in progress. The admiral who oversaw your last assignment said that she was just following orders.

"I find such an argument illogical. Certain important information was purposely kept out of the mission briefing materials." Spock said to the others in the office.

"She's a brand new vice admiral who got her position through nepotism. The paper trail shows that she wasn't the one to change the orders. Unfortunately the identity of the person who did it is still in question. Whoever set this up was not expecting Captain Thompson to end up dead or for Jim to succeed.

"Actually it was Lieutenant Uhura who successfully negotiated the treaty."

"That does not matter; your success caused problems for their plans. They definitely weren't expecting Admiral Pike to investigate what happen or for Commander Thompson and his daughter Lieutenant Brittany Thompson to file a wrongful death suit."

"What does any of this have to do with Spock being transferred to another ship?"

"It appears that this is the backup plan. With the lawsuit and the investigation pending they need a distraction."

"Let me guess whoever wants me out of the captain chair by any means necessary assumes that Spock is the real person in charge. They assume if we are split up I will fail miserably and I will be decommissioned or dead within two months."

"Obviously this person doesn't know you at all." She said rolling her eyes.

"Or they know me better then they think they do. I would not fail because of incompetents or lack of skill. I wouldn't accidentally get killed on a diplomatic mission because I forgot to read the briefing materials. However, I wouldn't be anywhere near as good without Spock. You see things I don't. You come up with solutions I can't. You are my other half. That's why I want to spend the rest of my life with you. Chris, how do you feel about performing a wedding today?"

"Only you would ask me a question like that. However, it's not necessary."

"Of course it's necessary."

"No it's not. One of the good things to come out of switching assignments is that the joining ceremony does count as a legally binding ceremony under Starfleet regulations and Federation law even though the planet was technically not a member of the Federation at the time of the ceremony. The ceremony is recognized retroactively now that they are a member planet of the federation. Because that wedding date Spock's orders to become the captain of the OBAMA your relationship would be covered by the Thompson amendments but just barely." The legal advisor said.

"Actually under Vulcan law we may have been married for as long as 11.8 months." Jim's mouth opened in complete shock as Spock when on to explain.

It turns out her assumption about Vulcan bonding was true. All those times they seem to be talking to each other without words they were talking to each other without words. She just didn't think it was going on that long.

No one said a thing about insubordination when she hit her now ex boyfriend for staying with her for over six months when he was technically married to someone else.

Jim's only response was, "I told you she would make a good captain. She's not afraid to attack someone five times stronger than her."

* * *

She left shortly after punching Spock. A couple of hours later Jim showed up at her hotel room bearing gifts.

"Can I come in? I come bearing real chocolate and non replicated ice cream." She would let him in eventually. She was not that mad anymore. However, she wanted to have some fun first.

"What brand?"

"Ben and Jerry's of Earth. I brought Phish Food." He said giving her the container. It was her favorite flavor.

"Fine you can come in. Either you were really good at guessing or your husband chose your peace offering."

"The ice cream is from Spock." He said passing a spoon to her.

"I don't think ice cream will make up for this."

"He knows that. He says he is sorry and it's possible that we weren't really bonded until the conference room incident. He didn't realize it was a possibility until after then any way." That explanation placated her slightly. She was less pissed off now. Considering how heavy the two were in denial, she would not be that surprised if Spock did not really know for a while.

"I'm going to go with it happening earlier because it seem like you two were having conversations without words since the beginning. How do you accidentally get married?"

"Apparently it's quite easy since we manage to do it three times within the last year. Can Spock come in now without you throwing things?" He asked sheepishly.

"Spock you can come in. I know you were listening the entire time. I'm sorry I punched you."

"Your response was completely logical given the circumstances."

"Pike agreed. Also, there's no way I'm writing that up in a formal report."

"So what happened after I left?" she asked a few minutes later.

"It seems that it is highly probable that to avoid calling attention to the situation, I will be allowed to stay on Enterprise."

"What my husband is saying is there too afraid of a scandal if the media finds out. Starfleet can't deal with any bad press at all less than a year after almost an entire cadet class ended up dead and an entire planet was destroyed due to bad intelligence and a decision 25 years ago that it wasn't cost effective to search for the ship that destroyed the Kelvin." She could hear bitterness dripping from every word.

"So you get what you want. That's a good thing. Why are you not happy? You're not adopting your husband's normally stoic behavior are you?"

"This is not a win .We win this time. Then some other Admiral decides he doesn't like me or someone else and manipulates things so they will lose his or her position or end up dead. If it was just me they were messing with, I could deal with it. Except it's just not me and chances are next time more than one person will end up dead. 13 years ago an Admiral who had no problem abusing his power did the same thing with the Thompsons. That time someone just almost ended up dead. This time someone did end up dead and it could have been worse. Next time I'm sure the body count will be higher." She was pretty sure they were doing that thing where they talk to each other telepathically after the long silence that followed. They were both silent for a moment as Spock put his arms around Jim.

"Can you two please start talking out loud again?"

"Sorry we didn't know we were doing it. See this is why he didn't know that he was married to me when he was still dating you." She just rolled her eyes when he said that.

"I think it's in our best interest long-term to fight this." He said confidently.

"What are you planning T'hy'la?"

"It is best you don't know. Do you trust me?

"Implicitly"

* * *

Today marks exactly one year since Jim and Spock met each other in this very room for the first time. Everything is different now. One year ago she and Spock were lovers. One year ago her three best friends were still alive. One year ago, there was still a Vulcan and Spock's mother was alive. So much has changed in that year for better or worse.

Spock and Jim are now together in the "until death do us part" sense. She and Spock are just friends despite that little incident earlier in the week. If you cannot hit your friend for being an asshole, what is the point? A certain captain of hers successfully convinced her to sign up for the command retraining program. Jim is convinced she is going to break Captain Evelyn Thompson's record for youngest female captain by at least five years.

Some things haven't changed. One year ago she sat in this room and watch Jim fight for something he believed in. Considering everything that has happened in the last year, fighting over a test seemed so silly. Now she knows they really weren't fighting about a test. They were fighting over the fact that no situation was unwinnable. She's pretty sure that he has convinced Spock of that, otherwise they wouldn't be together right now.

Mere hours after their initial meeting last year, she would see firsthand how hard Jim will fight for something he believes in. Now once again he's fighting for the thing he believes in the most. She stands back in the shadows as the scene unfolds in front of her.

This was supposed to be when Spock received his new commission in front of the new soon to be graduating class of cadets and representatives of the press from every planet in the federation. Instead, Jim chose this moment to derail the admiral in question using him to keep everyone distracted. The member of the Admiralty that practically fell over when Jim brought out the marriage license was probably the one who was responsible all along.

"This doesn't change anything." The Admiral said with anger. "Accidentally getting married on a mission that you were not even supposed to go on in the first place doesn't mean you're really together. You're just worried that if you get separated from your first officer everyone will find out how incompetent you really are." Jim just laughed as Spock stood beside him giving the man the Vulcan death glare.

"We've been together for nearly five months. We were already planning to get married. Thanks to whoever had a grudge against me, we don't have to plan the ceremony. You wouldn't know about that would you? It worked out for the best because the leaders of that planet sure know how to throw a honeymoon." She could see Spock giving him his usual "I think you're being a complete idiot" look as the admiral in question saw firsthand how fierce Jim Kirk could be when truly tested.

"These little games end now. No more using liberal execution of Starfleet policy to exercise a personal vendetta again someone you don't like. You have two choices in this situation, enforce the policies correctly for everyone and allow my husband and me to stay together so that you will have the greatest command team in Starfleet history or you lose both of us."

"Losing him would be worth no longer having to deal with you. You are a disgrace to that uniform. You are only here because you got lucky and everyone expects you to be as good as your daddy."

"I've always thought I look great in command yellow. At least that's what my husband says." He said ignoring the earlier comment. "Of course, we won't be going without a fight and a few interviews." Jim said pointing to the press corps waiting in the wings. "I'm sure they would love to know about how your decision to reassign a mission meant for the Enterprise to the OBAMA, lead to Captain Evelyn Thompson's death. The choice is yours. Let's face it you really can't deal with the bad publicity right now."

One year ago in this very room Jim and Spock faced each other head to head on different sides of an argument that doesn't seem so big anymore. Today they stand side by side. Together they can face anything including a dick of an admiral and win. The fact that they are together is a true victory. The fact that Jim will fight for Spock is the most important thing of all. The fact that Spock is there by his side is a true sign of how far things have come. This is the final sign that Jim Kirk is completely in love with Spock. He will always fight for Spock and he will always be by his side.

The end

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**Yes, there will be an epilogue.**

Also check out my new story Starfleet Family Values.


	12. Epilogue: I'm not Afraid

This is it everyone. This is the final chapter of 10 signs Kirk edition. I would like to thank everyone who has read or reviewed this story over the course of the last four months. I would also like to thank everyone who has added this story to reviews or favorites. At present 46 people have added this story to their favorites and 91 people are on alert.

In addition, I like to thank Vampirewine for reviewing this chapter. We are currently collaborating on a surprise based in this universe. More details will be available eventually.

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Epilogue: I'm not Afraid

When she first step foot on the Enterprise two and a half years ago she did not have time to take in the sites or sounds of the Federation's flagship. It was in the middle of a crisis and she was fresh out of the academy.

A month later, she really didn't have time to take in the scenery of the ship. She was too busy trying to keep everything under control and get her department in order. She was too busy trying not to mourn those that they lost. She may have also been too preoccupied with worrying if her boyfriend was going to leave her behind to have 75% Vulcan babies on the new colony.

Her worrying was for nothing because he came back to Enterprise anyway. Now she knows that decision was not made for her sake.

Around six months later, she will let him go anyway fully aware that it was for the best. Five months later, she will stand by his side as he successfully fights to stay with his husband. More importantly, she stood by Jim as he fought to stay with his husband. Three months later, she gave the toast at his wedding (the official one) to Jim.

Now 30 months after the beginning, she is the one who is leaving for the OBAMA. The irony is not lost on her. Three days ago, she inspected every inch of the Enterprise as she walked down the corridor leading to the transporter room for the final time. It was a bittersweet moment.

"Are you sure you really want to do this?" Jim asked her right after she said goodbye to his and Spock's two adopted daughters Amanda (she already had that name) and T'Pong.

"Your husband asked the same question 30 minutes ago. Are you two doing the mental talking thing again? Shouldn't you have asked me that question when you were trying to get me to participate in the command retraining program?"

"I know. I didn't think you would be leaving this soon." Technically she should have at least another six months to go, but she's always been an overachiever.

"You're good teacher." She said as they continued to walk.

"The other Spock said your counterpart worked with the other me for almost her entire career."

"I wish I could, but I can't. They're not us. I think that's a good thing. The other you was not happily married by 26 to the love of his life. There are things in this life that have made us stronger. You're not afraid to be yourself and I'm not afraid to challenge the world." She said to him with a smile.

"So you are not leaving because you are uncomfortable watching me and your ex together?"

"You do remember my toast at your wedding? Trust me, I'm over it."

"Which wedding? There were four of them." He said with a laugh.

"The one on New Vulcan. You were actually aware you and Spock were getting married that time. It only happened 16 months ago."

"That was a wedding?" She smacked him on the shoulder when he said that with such great sarcasm.

"I'm going to miss this. I'm going to miss you in general. You're the only one on the ship who has no problem hitting their superior officer."

"I'm going to miss you too. If anybody told me six years ago that that guy who desperately tried to sleep with me at a hole in the wall bar in Iowa would become my best friend I think I would have laughed them out of the room. Then again, I probably would've been laughing anyway when they told me that you would be my future captain and I would be proud to call you that."

"I'm sure your reaction would have been worse if they told you that I would steal your boyfriend before we became friends."

"You didn't steal my boyfriend because he was never mind to begin with. I gave him to you after I broke him in. I think I did a good job. He understands most human humor now."

"Don't tell Spock that you gave him away. He will just get all extra Vulcan on me and I'll be sleeping on the couch. None of us wants that. I do want to say it has been a privilege to serve with you and I'm pretty sure you kept me from dying at least two or three times."

"Don't worry. You have Spock for that now." She is pretty sure that she saw him shed a tear when she hugged him goodbye.

* * *

Now three days later dressed in her new command yellow uniform, she took in everything of this new ship as she is led by her Chief Communications Officer Lieutenant Brittany Thompson. To make up for certain Admirals manipulating things to get Jim out that resulted in her mother ending up dead they made Brittany a Chief Communications Officer at 23 and her dad an Admiral.

Her father took over for Admiral Pike when he was reassigned. Because several Admirals lost their positions in the fallout, Captain Rodriguez was also promoted, making him the very first openly gay admiral.

It was Admiral Rodriguez who contacted her two months ago to let her know that upon completion of the command retraining program she would become First Officer on the USS OBAMA under the leadership of Captain Jordan Jackson. (Yes, he was that Jordan.)

Normally Captains get to choose their First Officer, but after going through three officers in a 12 month period, they decided to assign someone. Brittany told her that he wasn't happy. She knew that.

When she spoke to him for the first time in person, he made that abundantly clear. He essentially accused her of only getting this position because she was screwing her former commanding officer.

"You know a good Captain keeps up to date on all the latest gossip. I haven't been with Spock for almost two years. He is happily married with two daughters. I'm sure if you lived in the real world like the rest of us you would know that he is married to your other ex-boyfriend Jim Kirk. I'm sorry, that's Captain Jim Kirk. You may not like me for various personal reasons, but that does not matter. I'm your First Officer if you like it or not. We have to work together otherwise someone's going to end up dead."

By the way, he completely ignored her on the bridge during their first shift together she knew this was going to be a very long mission. She should probably contact Spock for advice on what to do when you want to murder your Captain. The bright spot was almost her entire bridge crew served on the Enterprise during the first year. At least she already knew names.

* * *

**13 months later **

She was sitting in her brand new quarters still shell-shocked after the events of the last few days. During her Starfleet career, she has seen a lot of death. During her very first mission she watched an entire planet implode. However, nothing prepared her to watch her Captain be murdered in front of her eyes in the middle of the mess hall two days prior by a member of his crew.

The OBAMA was dealing with a routine mission when the away team was exposed to some particulate that made people do exactly what they wanted to do. Fortunately, unlike the version that she encountered two years earlier on Enterprise, this version actually work its way out of your system in a couple of hours and was nowhere near as contagious.

She realized something was wrong with the away team almost instantly, but her Captain didn't listen to her. This resulted in Lieutenant Ericson, one of the members of the security team who went down to the planet, shooting their Captain dead in the crowded cafeteria. Fortunately, non-exposed members of the security team were able to disarm him before he killed anybody else.

She didn't have time to process anything else as she went into crisis mode quarantining the other exposed crewmembers before anybody else ended up dead. As Acting Captain, it was her job to inform the Admiralty of what happened. She gave her report as concisely as possible not leaving anything out.

"It wasn't your fault. You're the one who suggested that everyone who was on that planet be quarantine immediately after you noticed people beginning to act unusual. It was your Captain who decided not to follow your advice. Your decision to immediately quarantine everyone exposed after the incident probably saved more lives." Admiral Rodriguez said on the screen along with Admiral Pike.

"He didn't follow my advice because it came from me. We were a horrible team and that's why he ended up dead." Even after over a year her working relationship with her Captain was horrible.

"You did everything possible to work with him. Trust me if you can get along with your ex-boyfriend after he accidentally married someone else during your relationship I think you can handle anything." Admiral Pike said with a laugh that was highly inappropriate considering the circumstances.

"What Admiral Pike is trying to say is this was not your fault. Your record of service over the last year has been exemplary despite your problems with your Captain. Therefore it is our recommendation that you officially become Captain of the USS OBAMA effective immediately."

A day later, she still could not believe it. She managed to become a Captain at age 29.

She didn't want to hear from anybody unless it was a member of the Admiralty telling her that they made a horrible mistake and they were demoting her back down to Lieutenant. Of course, her Chief Communications Officer completely ignored her orders. Really, she should expect nothing less of Brittany.

"So I guess congratulations are in order Captain Uhura." He said to her as soon as he appeared on the screen.

"You're the first person to call me that. Don't call me that. I can't believe it actually happened. How do you even know?"

"Don't talk like that. You deserve to be a Captain, even though it happened under less than ideal circumstances." That was the understatement of the millennium.

"You still didn't explain how you even know about the circumstances or the fact that they promoted me permanently."

"About an hour ago, Sulu started running through the halls screaming something about becoming the new First Officer on the OBAMA. I contacted Brittany right away to see if you finally strangled Jordan on the bridge. It turns out, I was not off by that much."

"It wasn't me. I'm surprise things are moving this fast. I told them yesterday that I would only accept if they would get Sulu to be my First Officer."

"Admiral Thompson said they were planning on moving Jordan to another commission and give you control of the OBAMA anyway. Although now I'm kind of mad at you because I'm not only losing my Pilot, but my Navigator as well thanks to spouse assignments." Jim said this with a fake sad expression.

"It is such a shame you are going to have to break an another crew. You still have Scotty, Dr. McCoy and that long suffering husband of yours. I need all the help I can get."

"No you don't. You are a natural leader. You'll do fine." His words reassured her.

"I can still call you and ask questions?"

"Of course. I can give you all sorts of tips to break in your First Officer."

"I don't think it's going to work considering my First Officer is a married man. Enough about my fears, tell me what's going on with my favorite family."

It took almost four years to get to this point where she could have these conversations with Jim about his husband and his children and she could talk to him about her ship. This is the way it needed to be. He got Spock and she got a ship. She's okay with that.

"Are you going to be okay?" Jim asked her after almost 20 minutes of conversation involving stories about Spock and the kids along with Enterprise antidotes.

"I'll be fine. I'm overwhelmed, but I'm not afraid anymore."

"You can do this. I believe you can do anything. Although you do realize that the race to youngest admiral ever is on."

"I wouldn't have it any other way. Prepared to lose."

"I don't lose."

"There's a first time for everything Jim."

**The end**


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